Mustardland Fat Club
7 February 2008

Users of The Archers message board (known as "Mustardland" from its screen colour) were amused to hear of Clarrie's new Ambridge slimming club, as for several years they have run their own version - the Mustardland Fat Club (MFC). We asked members of the MFC collective to tell us about this hugely successful self-help group.

Chit-chat in the area of the message board known as The Bull often contained rueful references to weight worries. In spring 2003, an anguished post struck such a chord with another member that the weekly Mustardland Fat Club was founded, giving people without access to a real-life slimming club somewhere to compare notes and find support. Such was the MFC's success that The Village Hall area was created, to avoid crowding out the pub.

Success breeds success. Soon, sibling threads were started by two other members. The MFC Cookbook promotes cooking delicious food (why must losing weight be miserable?), with its own independent website. And the Cybergym is about making exercise attractive, even to fatties mocked in childhood.

Some MFCers are like Clarrie, with long term weight problems despite previous attempts to lose weight, while others are like Kenton, where a recent change in circumstances has led to weight gain and a wish to tackle it before it gets any worse.

Perhaps the most intense discussion ever in the MFC was about the consequences of being bullied as a childhood fatty. Officialdom now speaks overbearingly of anti-obesity measures (eg withdrawal of health care) rather than offering encouragement and support, so this is a major preoccupation for struggling fatties.

Democratic even from the early single-leadership days, the MFC is now run by a rota of voluntary presenters. We do not claim professional expertise, though several of us have gone on to educate ourselves extensively in nutrition and psychology.

We have one inflexible rule: real-life body weights or body mass indices (BMIs) are never mentioned (worse than mentioning money, religion and sex all together at a dinner party). Weigh-ins are private, a principle picked up by the Ambridge slimming club. One person's ghastly high is someone else's long-term downwards goal, and might drive the latter to despair. Why Clarrie did not deck Alistair for announcing her body weight over the PA at the wife-carrying contest remains a marvel. However we happily celebrate losses or commiserate with gains in pounds, kilograms or BMI points.

The unique quality of the MFC is not to endorse any particular dieting system, unlike commercial slimming clubs. The system that works for you, works for you; you will always find support in the MFC (and probably a couple of other members doing it your particular way).

The other major MFC principle is looking to healthy eating, over a long period, rather than to quick fixes or miserable "dieting", to control weight. If we'd had any sense, we'd have made loadsamoney out of our eccentric system long since.

Success

Most slimming magazines overflow with dramatic success stories. Ours are quieter:

• moral support is offered, often with pawky humour, preventing many a glum birthday binger from throwing in the towel
• currently a mother-to-be is watching her weight while ensuring the health of her unborn baby
• an amputee has spoken of her special weight concerns without embarrassment (quite rightly)
• parents concerned about teenagers wanting to conform to the destructive skinny-thinny culture find support and good sense
• carers for ageing parents receive dietary support and information from those with personal experience
• bullied fatty ex-schoolkids now like exercise, thanks to the Cybergym
• and just as many members (and their families) benefit from the yummy Cookbook recipes


However we have our own dramatic success stories too:


• the member whose anguished message inspired the founding of the MFC lost between 4 and 5 stones, as did another founder member.
• yet another founder member, who was already following a commercial slimming club when she joined MFC, qualified as a group instructor after losing the same large amount. She now earns her living from helping others to lose weight


The worst thing about joining any club is the fear of not belonging. That cannot happen at MFC. The worst is that you might initially encounter a bit of slang or jargon from the in-group. Inevitably the MFC has evolved its own vocabulary and catchphrases (quickly picked up), such as:


• Bimbling (hanging tediously around the same weight with minor ups and downs)
• The week-in-hand rule (often you don't see the results of efforts or lapses until a fortnight later, leading to hurrahs or boos as appropriate)
• Soddit moments (snaffling chocolate under stress, but did we really need to explain that one?)

The permanent MFC motto is the acronym KOKO (Keep on Keeping On). We wish that for the new Ambridge Slimming Club, and invite you to join us in The Village Hall.

Onwards and downwards!

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