Confessions: Green Metro Saga

Twenty years ago, when Simon was a whippersnapper presenter on BBC Radio 1, he received thousands of letters from listeners confessing their darkest secrets and worst misdemeanours, begging for his forgiveness. Every day, Father Mayo read out a confession - and then he'd decide whether to grant forgiveness or not.

Now Confessions is back on BBC Radio 2 Drivetime. Read a Confession below, then Send Simon Your Confession



My confession goes back to the early 90s when I lived in Berkshire I had a lodger, Paul, who stayed with me during the week.

I worked in London at the time and so caught the early train every morning, one of my regular travelling companions was a rather lovely lady called Jane.

One Monday morning she complained that she'd had an awful weekend because shed lost her keys and had had to get a locksmith out to change all her locks. Every lock had been changed except the filler cap on her green Metro.

"Could you do me a favour sometime and lever the old cap off?.." she asked "it'll be OK for a while because I've got a full tank right now."

So two weeks later she asked me if I could do the deed that evening. I called Bob and asked him to meet us at the local station that evening, bringing his toolbox, a temporary filler cap and to fill up this huge Jerry can that I had with petrol.

That night, Jane wasn't on the train, which wasn't unusual because she often worked late. So on my arrival at the station; we set about our task anyway.

The petrol cap easily broke into pieces, springs, pieces of nylon and broken plastic flew everywhere and we proceeded as planned and filled up the tank and leaving the smashed cap on her bonnet by way of a calling card.

The next morning, bright and early, Jane sauntered up at the station and apologised for not being there last night and enquired whether we could we do it for her that night instead?

"Erm. Where were you last night, Jane?" I stuttered...

"Oh, I had to come home early because the horse is ill, I was up at the stable with the vet" she replied.

So, imagine the scene Simon, Innocent Green Metro owner arrives back at the station to find that their petrol cap was broken and the car had mysteriously gained a full tank of petrol?

Confusion reigns!


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