Confessions: Graveyard Flower Heist

Twenty years ago, when Simon was a whippersnapper presenter on BBC Radio 1, he received thousands of letters from listeners confessing their darkest secrets and worst misdemeanours, begging for his forgiveness. Every day, Father Mayo read out a confession - and then he'd decide whether to grant forgiveness or not.

Now Confessions is back on BBC Radio 2 Drivetime. Read a Confession below, then Send Simon Your Confession

 

Dear Father Simon and Crew

It is now six years since the actions for which I need to seek forgiveness.

At the time of my transgression I was living in a small village in Derbyshire. It was a lovely place close to the Peak District national park, and coming from the South West originally we naturally had lots of family and friends who would arrive on holiday - sometimes on the spur of the moment.

I worked in South Yorkshire back then and was not earning a lot of money, but I did have to suffer the dreaded drive to work over the Woodhead Pass every day (the A628 for Sally!). This meant that most of my salary was taken up with petrol.

One day while at work, I took a call from my partner who informed me that his Mother had arrived unexpectedly that morning and "could I get her some flowers on the way home?"

Well Simon, all I had in my wallet that day was my petrol money for the long drive home, but I thought - OK, I'll get some flowers at garage when I fill up. Sadly, when it came time to fill up, I completely forgot about the flowers.

Shortly after I left the petrol station my partner called to say "have you got the flowers?" - naturally, I replied - "of course".

The Woodhead Pass can be a long and lonely drive especially when you know that the wrath of the mother-in-law and your partner is waiting at the other end! It was then that I decided what I had to do…

Just as you drove into my village there was a small cemetery and luckily as it was winter it was also dark, so I parked up, and took it upon myself to "visit" some graves, to pay my respects, obviously.

I made my way respectfully around the plots, and as I left each grave, I took with me 1 flower from each. After about 10 minutes of respect paying, I left with a generous bouquet of flowers... perfect for a mother-in-law...

Father Simon, I feel now that I must apologise for this act, not only to the residents of my former village both alive and departed, but also to my mother-in-law - who to this day still remarks on the amazing freshness of garage flowers.

Yours humbly

Harpo

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