Classic Confession: Starsky And Hutch

Twenty years ago, when Simon was a whippersnapper presenter on BBC Radio 1, he received thousands of letters from listeners confessing their darkest secrets and worst misdemeanours, begging for his forgiveness. Every day, Father Mayo read out a confession - and then he'd decide whether to grant forgiveness or not.

Read a classic Confession below, then Send Simon Your Confession

 

Dear Simon,

Let me take you back to 1979. At the time I was nine years old and, along with every other nine-year-old boy, I was a fanatical fan of 'Starsky and Hutch'. Every week, we would avidly tune in to see our TV heroes in action - except this week.

My father worked abroad during the week as a builder and, as times were hard, my mother worked evenings at the local supermarket stacking shelves. This left my nan to babysit me and my younger brother and sister. Normally I was allowed by my Mum to stay up that extra hour to watch 'Starsky and Hutch', but on this rare evening that my Nan looked after us, I had received my marching orders just as the programme was about to begin.

After tucking me in, she returned downstairs to the living room. That was when my plan was hatched. I'd make my way downstairs and pretend to slip. My nan would come to my aid and I would sit with her as she nursed me (as Nan's do) watching 'Starsky and Hutch' until my Mum returned from work.

I crept halfway down the stairs, hit them a few times, let out a few cries and sat clutching my ankle. I waited. Nothing. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't taken into account the fact that my nan was slightly deaf and was watching the TV with the full volume (as Nan's do). I tried again, but this time a little louder. Again nothing. So in my frustration I decided that drastic measures were required. I went to the top of the stairs and jumped a few at a time stomping as I landed, screaming 'OUCH'. I then lay at the bottom faking my agony. The living room door was flung open and my nan ran, well hobbled, towards me. She asked if I was okay. I said 'Yes, I think so'. Then my plan went horribly wrong. 'Let me get you back to bed', my nan replied. She wasn't supposed to say that. I had to think quickly and act quicker. As she began to lift me up I let out a howl. 'My neck, I can't move it.'

The panic that ensued was now out of my control. My nan, who by now was hysterical, called my mother at work, who in turn became hysterical and phoned for an ambulance. The ambulance rushed me to the Accident and Emergency Department of our local hospital where I was X-rayed. The doctor surprisingly enough, could find nothing wrong but prescribed that a neck brace should be worn for a couple of weeks, just to be on the safe side.

I never did see that episode of 'Starsky and Hutch', but I did have two weeks off school to recover.

I seek forgiveness for causing my Mum so much stress and for keeping her up half the night at A&E and for the stress caused to my dear-departed nan who I never did have a chance to apologise to, not to mention my teacher and all my classmates who had a collection and brought a get well parcel of sweets n things round to my house.

I hope you see fit to forgive the futile attempts of a small boy to stay up and watch his favourite television programme.

Yours sincerely,

P.B.W

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