Confessions is back on Drivetime!

Twenty years ago, when Simon was a whippersnapper presenter on BBC Radio 1, he received thousands of letters from listeners confessing their darkest secrets and worst misdemeanours, begging for his forgiveness. Every day, Father Mayo read out a confession - you may remember one about an unsuspecting goat; another involving Hammy the Hamster; one about a runaway milk float; or even the incident with Uncle Eric's ashes - and then he'd decide whether to grant forgiveness or not.

Instead of sending Simon your confession by letter like you used to, why not email him at or fill in our online Confessions form.


Confessions Archive

"Own Goal" [05/07/11]

"Spurred On" [04/07/11]

"Border Dispute" [30/06/11]

"Seven Seas Of Why" [29/06/11]

"Red Light Spells Danger" [28/06/11]

"Don't Look Back In Anger" [27/06/11]

"Krafty-werk" [23/06/11]

"Inch By Inch" [21/06/11]

"Spell It Out" [20/06/11]

"Half Cut 100" [16/06/11]

"A Lie of Descent" [15/06/11]

"Motormouth" [14/06/11]

"Rock ‘n’ Roll" [13/06/11]

"Trigger Unhappy" [09/06/11]

"Van The Man" [08/06/11]

"Bags Of Fun" [07/06/11]

"Brotherly Love " [06/06/11]

"Is It A Bird?" [02/06/11]

"Smells Like Teen Spirit " [31/05/11]

"Out Of Pocket " [26/05/11]

"The Lengths Some People Go To" [25/05/11]

"Walkies!" [24/05/11]

"Stop Mucking About!" [23/05/11]

"Pond Life" [19/05/11]

"Darkness On The Edge Of Town" [12/05/11]

"The Root Of All Evil" [11/05/11]

"Blessing In Disguise" [09/05/11]

"The Heat Is On" [05/05/11]

"Top Of The Class" [04/05/11]

"Wakey Wakey" [03/05/11]

"Absent Minded" [28/04/11]

"Birdhouse In My Soul" [27/04/11]

"Homework Sucks" [26/04/11]

"I Am The God Of Hell Fire" [14/04/11]

"One Of Your Five A Day" [13/04/11]

"De-frocked" [12/04/11]

"Greek Tragedy" [11/04/11]

"Bathing In Glory" [07/04/11]

"Identity Crisis" [06/04/11]

"Darling I'm Home" [05/04/11]

"Making Quite A Splash" [04/04/11]

"April Call" [31/03/11]

"Island Hopping" [30/03/11]

"The Sleeper Carriage" [29/03/11]

"No Place Like Home" [28/03/11]

"A Bit Teed Off" [24/03/11]

"Cleaner Than Clean" [22/03/11]

"Put A Stop To This" [21/03/11]

"You Can Stick It" [16/03/11]

"The Road To Smell" [15/03/11]

"Engine Trouble" [14/03/11]

"Simply Red" [09/03/11]

"What A Racket!" [08/03/11]

"Fountain Of All Knowledge" [07/03/11]

"A Gran Night Out" [03/03/11]

"Musical Differences" [02/03/11]

"The Fruit Of All Evil" [01/03/11]

"Quite A Reception" [28/02/11]

"I Second That Emulsion" [24/02/11]

"Don't Fret" [23/02/11]

"Any Old Iron" [22/02/11]

"Have A Butchers" [21/02/11]

"The Big Stink" [17/02/11]

"A Classic Error" [16/02/11]

"Off Your Trolley" [15/02/11]

"Don't Know Much About History" [14/02/11]

"What A Sauce" [10/02/11]

"Blue Hat For A Blue Day" [08/02/11]

Mike Harding's Confession [07/02/11]

"Open & Shut Case" [03/02/11]

"Ale Mary" [02/02/11]

"Pull Up To The Bumper" [01/02/11]

"Long Distance Lorry Skiver" [31/01/11]

"Party Stopper" [27/01/11]

"Stuck On You" [26/01/11]

"Meter The Action" [25/01/11]

"Strictly Come Prancing" [24/01/11]

"Pet Rescue" [19/01/11]

"A Right Royal; Fright" [18/01/11]

"Teenage Sicks Right Through The Night" [17/01/11]

"Supermarket Weeps" [13/01/11]

"A Bolt From The Loo" [12/01/11]

"There's Trouble Brewing" [11/01/11]

"Ring The Changes" [10/01/11]

"Exam Cheat" [05/01/11]

"Snow Joke" [08/12/10]

Team Confession - Sally [07/12/10]

"Road To Nowhere" [02/11/10]

"Sleepless In Knee-attle" [30/11/10]

"Who Took The Dogs Off?" [25/11/10]

"Love Is In The Air" [23/11/10]

"A Rally Bad Idea" [22/11/10]

"Cat's A Relief" [17/11/10]

"All Mouth & No Trousers" [15/11/10]

"Oh Dairy Me" [11/11/10]

"Best Left Unspoken" [10/11/10]

"Taking a Career Brake" [09/11/10]

"Office Moves" [08/11/10]

"The Case Of The Missing Bear" [04/11/10]

"Tougher Than The Guest" [02/11/10]

"Spire-elling Out Of Control" [01/11/10]

"Making A Right Show" [27/10/10]

"Butter Off Without Him" [25/10/10]

"Seve One's A Winner" [21/10/10]

"Money For Nothing and your chocs for free" [19/10/10]

"Even Letter Than The Real Thing" [13/10/10]

"Ticket To Slide" [12/10/10]

"How Much Is That Kitty In The Window?" [11/10/10]

"A Bit Of A Blur" [06/10/10]

"Down In One" [05/10/10]

"The Food Was Dia-folicle" [04/10/10]

"Revenge Of The Vending Machine" [30/09/10]

"Racing Green" [29/09/10]

"Stairway to Devon" [28/09/10]

"Feeling Sheepish" [27/09/10]

"Top of the Class" [23/09/10]

"A Case Of Progressive Pilfery" [22/09/10]

"The Dirty Secret" [21/09/10]

"Revenge Is Meat" [20/09/10]

"'Doctor Will See You Now'" [16/09/10]

"Aisle Bat First" [15/09/10]

"'The Graveyard Shift" [14/09/10]

"Tartan Temptation" [13/09/10]

"The Phantom Stall Holder" [09/09/10]

"The Great Molar Mix Up" [08/09/10]

"And All Because The Lady Loves…" [07/09/10]

"What Goes In Must Come Out" [06/09/10]

"The Mysterious Mal De Mer" [02/09/10]

"From Pillar to Post... " [01/09/10]

"Flushing Out The Truth" [31/08/10]

"All Washed Up!" [26/08/10]

"Who Do You Think You Are Kidding Mr. Neighbour!" [25/08/10]

"The Delinquent Directors" [24/08/10]

"A Drain on Resources" [23/08/10]

"In A Scrape" [18/08/10]

"Three Little Fishes" [17/08/10]

"An Alarming Affliction" [16/08/10]

"You Can't Teach Some Dogs Any Tricks!" [22/07/10]

"Special Agnew Confession: The Wheelie Bin Racers" & "A Spark Of An Idea" [21/07/10]

"The Curtain Cover Up" [20/07/10]

"The Colour Purple" [19/07/10]

"The Mystery Of The Aromatic Area Car v2" [15/07/10]

"The Secret Ingredient" [14/07/10]

"The Awkward Assembly Affair" [13/07/10]

"The Playful Pilgrimage" [12/07/10]

"Driving Miss-Dairy" [08/07/10]

"The French Mis-Connection" [07/07/10]

"Hazy Shade of Digger" [06/07/10]

"The Sting in the Tale" [05/07/10]

"The Unwelcome Makeover" [01/07/10]

"Northern Exposure!" [30/06/10]

"A Cow-ards Way Out!" [29/06/10]

"I know what you did last Euro 96!" [28/06/10]

"An Electrifying Experience" [24/06/10]

"The Brazen Beach Burials" [23/06/10]

"The Dental Duplicity" [22/06/10]

"The Great Exam Scam" [21/06/10]

"The Pub Poseidon Adventure" [17/06/10]

"The Phantom Pie-Slinger" [16/06/10]

"Omni-busted" [15/06/10]

"What's She Going To Look Like With a Chimney On Her?" [14/06/10]

"The Sweet Smell Of The Country" [10/06/10]

"A Cracking Shot" [09/06/10]

"A Bottle A Day Keeps The Doctor Away?" [08/06/10]

"Getting Your Bearings" [07/06/10]

"I Had A Wheelbarrow, the wheel fell off" [03/06/10]

The Linguistic Lie [02/06/10]

Stilton's Revenge [01/06/10]

It's All In The Length! [27/05/10]

Rotating Revenge [26/05/10]

A Case Of Colour Co-ordination [25/05/10]

A Straight Flush! [24/05/10]

Time Isn't Always Money! [20/05/10]

The Incarceration Of Witchypoo [19/05/10]

It's Snow Joke [18/05/10]

Look Before You...Lick! [17/05/10]

Let's Be-an Havin' You! [13/05/10]

Does That Ring A Bell? [12/05/10]

It's An Ill Wind That Blows... [11/05/10]

What Goes Around Comes Around! [10/05/10]

Electoral Re-Formation [06/05/10]

The Tale Of Twiggy [05/05/10]

Always Check Your Mirrors! [04/05/10]

Stuck In A Moment [03/05/10]

The 'Hair'owing Tale [29/04/10]

When The Red Robin Went Bobbing Along [28/04/10]

An Alarming Approach [27/04/10]

In Too Deep! [26/04/10]

Poetic Plagiarism [22/04/10]

The Cunning Computer Con [21/04/10]

Changing Rooms [20/04/10]

The Riddle Of Room 113 [19/04/10]

Too Hot To Handle! [15/04/10]

A Very Dangerous Liaison [14/04/10]

The Rev. Randy Lover [13/04/10]

The Missing Report Book [12/04/10]

Blame The Buzzards [31/03/10]

The Great Denture Duplicity [30/03/10]

A Joiner's Tale [29/03/10]

Wrong Man Overboard [25/03/10]

Blaming Fergus [24/03/10]

The Railway Faux Pas [23/03/10]

Slug Surprise [22/03/10]

The Whistler Rock Scam [18/03/10]

Bikers Revenge [17/03/10]

The Guilty Driver [16/03/10]

The Custard Bowl [15/03/10]

The Floating Butcher [11/03/10]

Green Metro Saga [10/03/10]

Graveyard Flower Heist [09/03/10]

The Seaside Bus Trip [08/03/10]

The Pig-Farmer [04/03/10]

The Bowler Hat [03/03/10]

Future Vicars And Fake Saints [02/03/10]

DIY Store Toilet [01/03/10]


Classic Confessions

Between Monday 22 and Thursday 25 February Simon delved through his archive collection of Confessions and chose some of his favourites.

You can now read the full Top 20 Confessions by clicking the links below.

Blame It On The Paperboy

Cheese Shavings

Clay Pigeon Shooting

Constable X Initiation

Cow Bubble Bath

Exploding Cigarettes

The Goat And The Mine Shaft

Hammy The Hamster

The Morgue

Mr Pearce's Car

The Nativity

The Poetry Prize

The Red Sea

Rodents Revenge

Ronnie's Rabbit

Smokey And The Tunnel

Starsky And Hutch

The Swallowed 2p

Uncle Eric's Ashes





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