So you have you're holiday planned, you know where you're going, what you're doing
and who you're doing it with. However if you're an Ibiza first timer, then take a few
tips from those who have been before...
When planning time off work to go on holiday, book at least an extra week
following it for recovery. If you don't think you'll need it then you won't
have experienced Ibiza to the max.
When booking your holiday try and get enough people together to share a villa
(six and upwards). They're not that much more expensive than staying in a
hotel and you get the privacy of your own place with all the comforts of home.
Most have a swimming pool which makes the perfect setting for some serious
'all back to mine' parties.
Spend at least one night at Pacha, this has to be one of the most beautiful
clubs in the world. Ministry take up the Friday night residency one more time
with the likes of our very own Danny Rampling and Grooverider guesting. The
roof terrace is a must, especially around 6am when the sun is coming up.
Drive around the island and see more scenery than a lighting rig and hydraulic
roof. Ibiza is a beautiful place with lots of secluded alcoves and beaches.
Why not give the clubbing a rest for just one day and see what you can discover.
View the sunset from the Café Del Mar. Choose your day carefully though.
If there have been a few clouds in the sky then you could be in for a little
disappointment when the crucial moment comes.
Start or Finnish a day at Space. This club has got to be one of the coolest
ever, and once you've been, you're never going to forget it. The music is
incredible, the people beautiful and the setting divine. It has a truly Spanish
feel, and after just one visit will have British clubbers taking a crash
language course and exchanging their standard big weekends out for the next
flight to Madrid / Ibiza / Valencia / etc. Make sure that you spend some time
in the garden terrace, which is directly below the flight path into Ibiza.
The scene is so incredible as the planes go over it will take your breath away.
Get soaked at Es Paradis. The only club on the Island to flood the dance
floor at the end of the night and then pull the roof back to let the morning
sun beam in. Watch out though, there's little chance of getting a cab with
soaking wet clothes on, taking a spare pair of shorts is always a good idea.
Get a tan. Well there's definitely the weather for it and you can't go back
to England looking like a sheet of A4. If you're partying all night then
crash out on the beach/by the pool. However do remember to take an alarm
clock and set it for 30 minute intervals, so you can wake up, apply more
suntan lotion and turn over.
Weigh up the possibility of you packing in your job, your friends and your
lifestyle, selling everything you own and coming to Ibiza with a plan of
living the life of a hippie spending 52 weeks a year on the beach. Then
snap out of it, you need the money, you'll miss your friends after a week,
you'll get bored when there is no Cream or Manumission to fill your evenings
and you will hate the sight of sand within a month.
Going out on your first night at 8.00pm with all your holiday money
and a master plan of getting plastered at any cost. Things are not cheap,
and you'll certainly enjoy it more if you pace yourself a little.
Taking any of the following with you: girlfriend; boyfriend; mum; dad; a
good book for a quiet night in; cheap sun lotion; combat pants; yellow shades;
a tape of Radiohead's 'OK Computer'; any work you didn't get finished before
you left home; your life's savings - just in case.
Annoying the police, they hit first arrest you later. Every horror story
told about Ibiza includes the police at some point. Behave and you'll go
home minus a few bruises.
Singing football songs on the beach, in the bars or in a club. They only
sound good on the terraces football terraces that is.
The lasagne and chips all day/every day diet. It's available if you want it.
In fact it's easier to find than good healthy food. However it just isn't good
for you. If in doubt think: high-cholesterol; bad skin; getting fat. Enough said.
Drinking in clubs. 6 quid for a beer and lots more for a shot.
Stick to the water and you might not pass out / throw up / stagger around
the dance floor like an idiot & annoy everyone else who's having a good time.
You'll regret it the next day. Oh yes...
Avoid camera crews. Ibiza is awash with them every year and getting
yourself on TV may appear to be a good idea at the time, however when
you see the finished programme it could be a whole different matter
entirely. Remember, you're mum could be watching.
Sleeping with club promoters in hope of getting into clubs free.
There's a lot of clubs and a lot of promoters, and the competition in
this field is very high. If you are insistent on blagging your way in,
there are other ways. Pretend to work at a PR/Record Company. Claim you're
a freelance Journalist. Say you're a TV producer and your crew will
be joining you later. Don't forget though, that you do have to phone
through in advance, just turning up on the night with such a story is
not going to fool anyone.
Cheap bargain basement packages at unnamed locations. Ibiza is also a
big family holiday destination. If you don't know where you're going to
be staying, you could be miles away from San Antonio/Ibiza Town in a
purpose built complex for families with young children. You'll spend
all your money on Taxi's and you're neighbours won't be impressed when
you return from Amnesia with about 20 other people for an impromptu party.
The West End - Unless your idea of a good night out involves drinking
lots of cheap lager, getting into a fight, throwing up, drinking more
cheap lager, having another fight, throwing up, drinking lots of.....
Not for us, we think.
Hiring a Fiat Panda when you need a 4X4 off road vehicle to get
anywhere in Ibiza. Especially if you've hired a villa up in the hills.