Advice

You should only have sex when you're sure that you're ready. Find out what it means to "be ready" here, plus ways of knowing if you are and advice for your first time...

What does it mean to be ready?

Ok, so we've seen the movies. We know the moves. We've got the boyfriend. It's been over a decade since we learnt the birds and the bees. Everyone's doing it. So we need to start too, right?

Being ready is understanding what sex means and what the consequences can be so we don't have problems or regret it afterwards. Because they can be huge.

We're lucky if our first time is simply disappointing. For too many of us it is a painful, embarrassing fumble with someone we hardly know, leaving us feeling lousy the next day and worried about pregnancy and STIs. Nothing cool about that.

Plus it's against the law to have sex if you're under the age of consent (16 in the UK) - no matter how ready we feel.

How will I know when I'm ready?

Ask yourself:

Am I being pressured by what my friends or boyfriend think?
How will I make sure I don't get pregnant?
How will I stop myself getting herpes? Or chlamydia?
Will I regret it next day?
Is he worth the hassle?

You know the answers.
Crossing our fingers and going with the flow is never an option.

What if I decide I am definitely ready?

Be sure he wants to. He may not. Fair enough.

Make sure the condoms are packed and practice putting one on with a carrot beforehand. It beats the first night nerves. We shouldn't rely on anyone to protect us. Our bodies are our responsibility.

If you have second thoughts at any point, stop. Just because you've had sex once doesn't mean you have to keep on having it. Many people realise it's really not all it's cracked up to be and shelve it for a while.

What if I don't think I'm ready?

Then don't do it. You have the right to say no.

Many of us have sex because we think everyone else is. Or that we should do it cos we've got a boyfriend - he'll expect it. Or that if we don't we're a prude. A prick tease. A baby.

So we do stuff we'd rather not.

Don't follow the herd. It's your body and your decision. It's how you feel about yourself after that counts.

If he breaks up with us because we won't have sex, that was all that mattered to him. So good riddance.