Helping you get through life
You should only have sex when you're sure you're ready. But how do you know when you're ready? And what will the first time be like?
Being ready is understanding what sex means and what the consequences can be so we don't have problems or regret it afterwards. Because they can be huge.
For too many people the event is simply disappointing - a rather painful, embarrassing fumble with someone we hardly know, which ultimately leaves them feeling lousy the next day and worried about pregnancy and STIs. Nothing cool about that.
Plus it's against the law to have sex if you're under the age of consent (16 in the UK) - no matter how ready we feel.
Am I being pressured by what my friends or partner think?
How will I make sure me or my partner don't get pregnant?
How will I stop myself getting herpes? Or chlamydia?
Will I regret it next day?
Are they worth it?
You know the answers.
Crossing our fingers and going with the flow is not an option.
Be sure your partner wants to. They may not be ready, which is fair enough and you must respect that.
Make sure the condoms are packed and practice putting one on with a choice vegetable beforehand if you're nervous. It beats the first night nerves. We shouldn't rely on anyone to protect us - our bodies are our responsibility.
If you have second thoughts at any point, stop. Just because you've had sex once doesn't mean you have to keep on having it. Many people realise it's really not all it's cracked up to be and shelve it for a while until they're ready again.
Then don't do it. You have the right to say no.
Many people have sex because they think everyone else is, or that you should do it because you've got a boyfriend or girlfriend - so they'll expect it. Or that if you don't, it makes you a prude. A prick tease. A baby.
So people end up doing stuff they'd rather not.
Don't follow the herd - it's your body and your decision. It's how you feel about yourself after that counts.
If they break up with you because you won't have sex, that was all that mattered to them and that is not the person you want to be with. So good riddance!
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