Advice

Having a fear of something is common. But whether it's spiders, mice or flying on planes, phobias can be a massive pain. Get top tips here on getting over your phobias...

What are you scared of?

I'm scared of spiders, heights and most traffic wardens. Ok, ok... and mice, snakes and airplanes taking off.

We all have stuff that gives us the jitters. But a phobia is different for two reasons:

We are really, really afraid. We may get a big time panic even thinking about it. We avoid and worry about our phobia so much that it gets in the way of our lives. And stops us doing stuff we'd like to do.

About 10% of us have a phobia. This can be to just about anything. I once knew someone with a phobia of photocopiers. But half of all phobias are due either to fear of being in company (this is called social phobia) a fear of being in a situation from which there is no escape (agoraphobia).

Why do phobias happen?

For most of us, these are the steps. Let's take thunderstorms as an example

Caught in thunderstorm one day, we get scared sh*tless

We develop a bad memory about thunderstorms...

So we start taking steps to avoid being out in the rain

Time passes and storms start to become a really big deal

We get more scared, and soon we can't do stuff on stormy days

We have a phobia

How can I cure my phobia?

First up, list all the reasons you really want to. Start with "Because I want to control my life". Make sure you include all the things you could do if your phobia wasn't in the way.

Next, try one of two methods:

Systematic desensitisation
This is the safest and gentlest way to solve a phobia. We gradually build up how much we can deal with:

• Start by looking at pictures of thunderstorms
• Then listen to soundtracks of thunder
• Watch films showing storms
• Go out in a light shower
• Watch a storm from the window
• And so on. You get the idea

With each step:

• Take slow, deep breaths through your nose.
• Tell yourself: "I can do this".
• And stick at it till it's not scary any more.
• Go easy on yourself - if you have setbacks, just start again. In time you'll be signing up for Thunderstorm Watch with Bill Oddie.

Flooding
This is not for the faint hearted. Take a deep breath and just get out in that storm. Terrifying, but exhilarating. Twenty minutes later, we're wet through. But cured. At least that's the idea.

If you get no joy from helping yourself then call in the experts. Sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved. There are counsellors and psychologists, who are experts in techniques for overcoming and understanding phobias. You needn't deal with this alone. Ask your GP.