Advice

If someone uses physical, emotional, sexual or financial behaviours to control the person they are in a relationship with, or an ex; that's domestic violence and it's against the law. Get clued-up about it here...

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse) is a repeated pattern of controlling behaviours (physical, emotional, sexual or financial) that one person uses over another person who they are, or were, in a relationship with.

It can happen between people who are going out together, living together, have children together or are married to each other. It can happen either when people live together or separately. It can happen to rich and poor people and people of any race, nationality or sexuality.

Domestic violence can also happen when a relationship is over. Although domestic violence happens mostly between adults, young people can be also be affected, and they can be hurt or bullied as part of domestic violence between adults or experience it in their own relationships

How do I know if it's happening?

All families argue, but if any of the following things are happening regularly in your home it could be domestic violence:

Physical abuse:

• hitting, kicking, pinching, biting or pushing
• throwing or smashing things
• making threats to hurt someone

Emotional abuse:

• constantly making a person feel bad about themselves
• stopping someone from seeing their friends or family constantly checking where someone is (texting or ringing them all the time)
• checking what someone spends money on and making them give the receipts
• stopping them from working or preventing them having any money

Sexual abuse:

• making someone do sexual things that they don't want to do
• rape

What can I do?

If these things are happening in your family, remember that you are not alone. Domestic abuse happens in many families and there are organisations that can help you and your family. Everyone has the right to be and feel safe.

Here's what you can do to help your situation. You can:

• contact an organisation and speak to them about what's happening. Women's Aid have a special site called "The Hideout" where you can find out ways to stay safe, and share your feelings and fears.
• talk to someone, a trusted friend or adult or a teacher.

You may have other ideas on what to do, like trying to stop the fighting or running away. This could put you at greater risk. The most important thing is for you to stay safe. Domestic abuse is never your fault and you are not to blame.