Advice

If you're thinking of 'coming out of the closet' about your sexuality, you should read our advice on weighing up whether or not to do it, who to tell if you decide to go ahead with it and how to go about telling your parents...

I've got something to tell you...

Telling people about your sexuality is called coming out.

You don't have to tell anyone you're gay or bi if you don't want to but you might feel better if you can be honest about who you really are.

Who to tell

Start by telling someone you really trust, and who you know will be supportive. Then you can gradually tell more people. It's a good idea to suss out people's attitudes on sexuality before you talk to them.

Telling your parents

OK, maybe you've fallen in love and want to share the joy. Maybe you're sick of fending off 'helpful' suggestions about how to get a boyfriend. Maybe you're confused and need advice.

Whatever your reasons for coming out to your parents, be prepared for shock, maybe a bit of outrage, or any emotion you might not expect. Like it or not, this is going to be quite a big deal for your parents at first. But hopefully they will accept and support you.

Where and when?

Grand announcements at Granny's birthday score high on impact, but low on sensitivity. Make sure you're somewhere where you feel comfortable.

Remember: Planting ideas ahead of time could help lessen the surprise factor.

Whether to tell at all

It's great to be honest and not to fear 'discovery' but IT'S UP TO YOU. If your folks are likely to seriously freak out then you should think very carefully about whether to tell them.

What to say

If you feel a bit awkward about saying "I'm gay" maybe go for, "I have a boy/girlfriend" or "I'm not really into guys/girls".

Plan your escape

Warn a friend in advance that you're about to drop the bombshell, so you have somewhere to go if you need to give your parents (and you) a bit of space.

Give your parents time - they may need a while to get used to the idea. And remember, their initial reaction won't necessarily be their long-term one.

There is no right or wrong way to come out. It should be a tailor-made experience, as individual as you are.

Homophobia

Don't expect everyone to support you. Unfortunately homophobia (fear or negative attitude towards gay people) is all too common and many gay people have a hard time getting friends and family to understand. Read our homophobia factfile for more information.

There is no right or wrong way to come out. It should be a tailor-made experience, as individual as you are.