Name: Computer

All the best sinister technology is black.

Age: 3 years (but its memory has recently been upgraded, so should last another couple at least)

Species: Computer

Appearance: Sleek. Modern. Covered in exciting flashing lights that don’t seem to relate to any particular function.

Natural habitat: On a table in the corner

Specialist subject: None. It knows everything, you see...

Secret skills: Can be used to send faxes. It’s not ‘secret’ as such - it’s in the manual and everything - but as yet nobody has ever done this.

Favourite colour: Black. All the best sinister technology is black.

Most commonly used phrase: ‘Are you sure you want to proceed Y/N?’

Could be represented in confection by: Apple cake

Fear Factor: 6