Take a look at 'animal activist' Mel's vital statistics.
Has Mel been up to much since she graduated?
The people's personMel
Mel's been carving out a career as an animal-activist-cum-secret-shopper
And her ministerial position in ‘Team Jared’?
Campaign Manager for the by-election, but further on she's hoping to be Health Secretary too
What qualifies them for this position?
She worked in Boots for two Christmas holidays
What’s Mel's greatest political achievement?
She successfully fought and won a claim for a PPI refund
How would they describe themselves?
Permanently sticking it up the man. The people's person.
Where are they likely to end up in 5 years time?
Possibly dead through bravery