03/02/2012

Friday Night At Ten. Join John Clayton and Sean McGinty to round off your week.

What FNAT facts did we find out about in the latest edition?

• So, thanks to a team of researchers from NCP, we now know that women can park their cars better than men. Using a scoring system more suited for Olympic ice-dancing, judges gave women parkers 13.3 points compared to the 12.5 achieved by their male counterparts. “Surprising” says the driving instructor who devised the tests, but FNAT reckons that, for men, parking is a little like passing water in public...hard to do when you are being watched!
• Thanks to the omnipresent CCTV, we are always being watched, including the man from Chicago who stepped into the lift at his apartment only for the doors to close before his pet dog got in. Trouble is, the dog was on the other end of the lead that was wrapped securely around the Chicagoans wrist! The cameras caught all the action...his panic, his arm being yanked to the floor as the lift rose, breaking his wrist and...mercifully...the lead snapping at the other end to leave the pooch safe and sound.
• We don’t like to let the grass grow under our feet so FNAT will think hard before splashing out on the latest footwear sensation...grassy flip-flops. The Australian manufacturers claim their design gives wearers the true sensation of walking barefoot across the lawn, by sticking some fake turf on standard flip flops, and, predictably, trendy websites and magazines have been going mad for them. But as any old hippy will tell you, astroturf is nowhere near as good as grass...
• You can’t help but admire the pluck of Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, the former German defence minister. It seems that the admission that he copied large chunks of his thesis lost him his job and won him a few critics, two of whom decided to get in his face. The video of them shoving a Black Forest Gateau in his mush was posted on the internet and reveals the cake to be very much to Karl-Theodor’s taste, although he’s requesting that, if they do it again, he’d prefer a cheesecake.
• Meanwhile on the savoury course, Takeru Kobayashi, a competitive eating champion from Japan, chomped his way into the record books devouring 337 chicken wings in 30 minutes while 20,000 looked on at Wing Bowl XX in Philly. Rumours that, as he picked up the 20,000 dollar prize, he then began to sing “I believe I can fly” are completely made up by us.
• Colonial correspondent Adrian the Canadrian has been going up in the world. He enjoyed a VIP invitation to Toronto’s new Trump Tower where he was hanging out with a WAG. That’s if there is an ice-hockey player called Pavlova Gadzooks and a team called the Detroit Chicken Wings...if not, then maybe he was chatting up a waitress again. If only the line to Canada had been better...