Valentine's Day Eve

Pause for Thought

From Sarah Joseph, Editor of a Muslim lifestyle magazine.

When I got married over twenty years ago there was one thing I told my husband he could not do. “Don’t ever buy me a card or flowers on Valentine’s day!” I told him.

And in twenty years, he never has...

Now some men out there may think this is great! A wife that doesn’t want flowers or cards... Result!

I am suddenly imaging arguments brought on by this Pause, “Well, love I heard this woman on the radio yesterday saying don’t get anything, so I didn’t...”

So just in case I cause chaos tomorrow, I am not saying do not buy your loved one something. I definitely don't want to come across as the Ebenezer Scrooge of Valentines! “Roses! Bah humbug!”

I am not saying I don’t want care and consideration, but basically, a dozen red roses, and a cute card one day a year are not enough!

I don’t want to be told when and how, love and romance, have to be dished out to me. I don’t want overpriced trinkets from him to show me he loves me.

Instead I requested from my husband an everyday commitment. And as he will testify, my request was not that easy. Instead of a Valentine, I asked for a commitment that says, “I am here, and I am connected. I am in this for better or worse.” That’s a lot harder. Love and commitment go well beyond Valentine’s Day. They require a 365 day attentiveness.

A gesture – not on a birthday, on an anniversary, or Valentines, but rather a card just out of the blue, a simple bloom on a random day, a meal cooked because the other looked tired, making sure the other has an opportunity to go out with friends, indeed being a true friend to the one you love.

I have to say, to my husband’s credit, he’s delivered for twenty years; and I have also tried to be more than just a Valentine.