Who's Kidding Who?

Pause For Thought with writer Adrian Plass

Last year when my wife and I feared that our integrity was falling apart. A simple question dented our pride and revealed our prejudice. I’ll get to that. First, what were we proud about?

We pride ourselves on being inclusive, treading a narrow path ourselves, but with arms wide to embrace anyone needing love. Sounds okay, doesn’t it?

We were, for instance, thrilled that last year’s Paralympics increased awareness that differences in physical ability shouldn’t define anyone.

Okay. The prejudice.

Last year Bridget and I toured with two fellow-speakers who had life-long disabilities.

Marc was a popular public speaker. He suffered from severe cerebral palsy. Insubstantial and seriously uncoordinated, he did a sort of floppy, flapping dash from one wall to another when he needed to cross a room. Marc was great. We liked him immediately.

Marianne was a singer. She had no arms. She had feet, though, and she used them for almost everything, including, remarkably, eating meals. Marianne was lovely. We warmed quickly to her.
So - that question.

It was late, but Marianne and Marc had something to ask.

‘Tomorrow,’ said Marc, carefully controlling his vocal slurring, ‘do you want Marianne or me to drive you?’

The child inside me screamed silently, ‘Oh, my God! We’re going to die, and we’re being asked to choose how it happens!’

‘Yes, but look,’ I wanted to reply, ‘you wobble like tissue paper in the wind, and SHE’S GOT NO ARMS!’

I actually bleated, ‘Right, when do you plan to leave?’

The woman with no arms was leaving early, so we opted to perish with the man who did windmill impressions.

We survived. Marc’s control was perfect once his hand was on the wheel.

Comparing notes, Bridget and I agreed there had been a gleam in Marianne and Marc’s eyes as that question was asked. They knew what the effect would be. We also agreed that we were horrified by our assumption that we’d be less safe in a car driven by someone with disabilities.

Too much pride we decided, and rather more prejudice than we had fondly imagined.