Music Played13 items
Dire Straits Sultans Of Swing
(Single), Vertigo, 5
Kelly Clarkson Dark Side
(CD Single), RCA, 1
Susan Maughan Bobby's Girl
Rediscover The 60's - Sealed With A K, Old Gold
Steve Miller Band The Joker
Steve Miller Band Greatest Hits 1974-, Mercury
Sly & The Family Stone Family Affair
Shades Of Soul (Various Artists), Global Television
Coldplay & Rihanna Princess Of China
(CD Single), Parlophone, 1
The Everly Brothers All I Have To Do Is Dream
Acuff-Rose Opryland Music: 50th Anniv, Acuff-Rose Opryland
Michael Jackson Beat It
(CD Single), Epic
Kirsty MacColl Don't Come The Cowboy With Me Sonny Jim!
(CD Single), Virgin
Kylie Minogue Timebomb
(CD Single), EMI
Tammy Wynette Stand By Your Man
Ultimate Country (Various Artists), Telstar, 1
Iron Maiden Can I Play with Madness
Seth Lakeman The White Hare
(CD Single), Relentless
Confession: Is There Something I Should Know?
Father Simon and the collective,
The year was approximately 1985 and I was in my 2nd or 3rd year of senior school. It was OK but a little dull, but all I dreamed of was having blue hair and living in Birmingham like my heroes…Duran Duran.
During another boring afternoon at school, a gang of us were chatting about our weekends – each trying to outdo the other with what we'd been up to – usually all fictional, of course! It was at that moment my senior school life dramatically changed, and I started my big white lie. For some unknown reason (and it still is!) I announced that my slighter older than me Aunty Rose had got engaged to Simon Le Bon, the very famous singer of Duran Duran!!! No-one doubted it or questioned it because DD only lived about 15 miles away and my Auntie Rose was cool and occasionally went to Birmingham – something we all longed to do!
At the time they were the biggest band in the world, every girl in the country loved them & hysteria followed them everywhere. It wasn’t until the next day that I realised the mayhem I’d caused. Word had spread about my very famous soon-to-be uncle! I was practically mobbed at the school gates as I entered by almost every girl from every year of my senior school! I suddenly became Miss Popular & they all wanted to be my new best friend, even the hard & cool girls that normally wouldn’t even glance my way! Each one of them was clutching a favourite poster or album or single and they all wanted them signed – some with personal messages!
By this point there’s no way I could’ve confessed it was a joke. I hadn’t even said it that seriously – or so i thought. What was i to do? I decided the only thing i could do was take all this memorabilia home with me and spend my evening signing it all! I had a poster somewhere from Smash Hits with a printed signature of Mr Le Bon’s on it, so I could just copy that…and that’s what I did.
To Mazza, love Simon LB
To Trace, sorry your Dada's sick, love Simon LB
To Steve, I love you too! Love Simon LB.
And so on. Posters, t shirts, undergarments of assorted sizes, I signed them al. I didn’t return the items to school till a few days later – with Simon being so busy & all I thought it would look a bit suss if I went back to school the next morning with all their treasured possessions.
These girls were eternally grateful, but then I had to start making up stories to follow my outrageous claim! Where did Simon & Rose meet? At a trendy club in Birmingham of course (she'd been to one – once!). Had I met him or the rest of the band? Yes, several times! Could I get free tickets to the next local gig? Sure, I’ll see what i can do!
I’d created a monster and it was getting out of control! I must say I was very relieved when suddenly pictures started appearing in the papers of Simon with a gorgeous model called Yasmin, but now more questions! I’m ashamed to say I had to tell these girls he'd been cheating on my Auntie with Yasmin, and she was of course heartbroken. I was so sorry, but I would no longer be seeing any of the band – or be able to get everyone free tickets. I had to take a moral stand. My aunt was special and cruel and callous rock n’ roll behaviour had left her heartbroken.
I seek forgiveness from anyone who still has any of these signed items – mainly because I never told anyone it was a lie and they still probably think they have a genuine Simon le Bon autograph, and secondly, most importantly from Mr Le Bon himself for making out he was a cheating, flouncy scoundrel! Sorry Simon.