With Rabbi Pete Tobias, of the Liberal Synagogue, Elstree.

Today Chris I’d like to talk about things we say at funerals. They tend to crop up rather frequently in my line of work, and I’m always struck by how often we can never think of what to say. There’s a tradition in Judaism to say the words ‘I wish you a long life’ to the mourners. It’s okay, but it doesn’t always work. A friend once told me about the funeral of his 96 year-old aunt. He went up to her 94 year-old sister and said the traditional formula ‘I wish you a long life,’ to which she replied ‘Thank you very much but I’ve already had one.’

I’m sure many of us have attended such events to be told by whoever is leading the ceremony that they are an opportunity to celebrate the life of the person who has passed away. That’s certainly true, because many fond memories are shared and numerous achievements are listed. But why wait until someone leaves us before celebrating all the things they’ve done in their lives?

I recently completed a three year stint as chairman of Liberal Judaism’s Rabbinic Conference. One of my senior colleagues gave a speech of appreciation, which prompted another rabbi present to text me during his speech to ask me if I’d died – it sounded like a eulogy! At least he didn’t conclude by wishing me a long life.

The rabbis of old said we should repent one day before we die – and because we never know when that day will be, we should repent every day. I think the same could be said for acknowledging our achievements. It can’t do any harm to stop every now and then to applaud and appreciate our friends and colleagues, rather than waiting until they’re gone. So why don’t we all take time today to thank someone for a contribution they have made to our lives and the lives of others – why wait?