Music Played13 items
Barry White You're The First, The Last, My Everything
Barry White - The Collection, Mercury
Manic Street Preachers This Is The Day
(CD Single), Columbia, 19
Wings Let 'Em In
Paul McCartney - All The Best!, Parlophone
Bat for Lashes Daniel
(CD Single), Echo, 1
Blue Öyster Cult Don't Fear The Reaper
Chart Show Ultimate Rock - Various, Hit
Dolly Parton The Sacrifice
Better Day, Sony, 1
Creedence Clearwater Revival Bad Moon Rising
Green River, Fantasy, 1
Walk On - Hits From The Last 2 Decade, Columbia
Redbone The Witch Queen Of New Orleans
The Greatest Hits Of 1971 (Various), Premier
Lana Del Rey Video Games
(CD Single), Polydor, 1
Dave Edmunds I Hear You Knocking
The Greatest Hits Of 1970 (Various), Premier, 4
Glen Campbell Any Trouble
Ghost On The Canvas, Surfdog, 1
Santana Black Magic Woman
Santana's Greatest Hits, CBS
Confession: Not A Pretty Picture
With Halloween fast approaching, I thought the following true story might make an entertaining Drive Time confession.
I am a photographer and many years ago my first job after leaving
college was as in-house staff photographer for a company where I was
employed shooting products for their catalogue. This was back in the
dark monochrome days of something called 'film' and for this purpose
we had our own small studio and dark room. The department consisted of
5 people which included a secretary called Deborah. She was (and probably still is) a lovely girl and great fun to work with.
However she harboured a morbid fascination with lurid horror films and
would spend ages telling us about the latest film she was going to see
and then regale us with even more gory details after she had terrified
herself seeing it.
So as the dark spectre of her next ghastly sojourn to the bowels of
the cinema loomed large, so did my evil plan. At home I just happened
to possess a life-size, anatomically correct 'in every detail' model
of a human skull which, at that time, was available as a plastic model
kit, and made from luminous plastic. I used it as a support for the headphones for my hi-fi system, something of a novelty talking point at parties. No, really.
On the Friday in question I smuggled said skull into work and secreted
it in the darkroom where there was a red 'safe light' under which
photographic paper could be handled during processing. This consisted
of a metal box mounted on the wall which shone a ghostly ethereal red
light upwards. I masked off the light with a sheet of black card in
the centre of which I had cut a small hole. Next I placed the skull on
top of the card. The result was even more terrifying than I could have
anticipated in my wildest nightmares. On entering the darkroom it took
a few seconds for one's eyes to adjust from daylight to the dark, but
instead of seeing the usual dim red room with an enlarger and work benches, all that was visible was a diabolical red luminous skull apparently
hovering in the corner of an otherwise pitch-black dungeon. All that
remained was to persuade Deborah to venture in there...
Everyone else was in on the jape and we spent all day trying to persuade her to go into the darkroom on various spurious errands, but to no avail since she was too busy with work. But at every opportunity she would mention the horror film she was going to see that very night, further racking up the tension.
With only a few minutes to go before we were due to finish for the
weekend I made one last, fateful attempt to lure her poor unsuspecting
soul into the darkroom on the pretext of fetching something I had
forgotten. Testily she made some comment to the effect that 'if my
head wasn't screwed on I would have left that in there as well', and
with that she flounced through the black fabric black-out curtain of
the darkroom entrance. We waited for the customary few seconds as her
eyes adjusted to the extra deep gloom, our hearts palpitating in
What happened next made me fear that my little prank may have
back-fired. It had. From within the bowels of darkroom came the kind
of utterly hysterical scream I had previously only heard in Hollywood
movies and hope I never experience in real life ever again. It only
ceased when her poor terror-wracked lungs were utterly expunged. We
all glanced at each other with a little trepidation, myself more than most.
Fortunately our head of department rushed towards the source of the
banshee scream, just in time to catch the hysterical, hyper-ventilating, ashen-faced and terror-stricken quivering form of Deborah as she charged out of the darkroom, now shrouded in the ripped black-out curtain, jibbering incoherently and pointing over her shoulder. She was such a wreck that she had to be driven home by the boss and spent several days off sick suffering from what we would now describe as 'post traumatic stress disorder'. I received a severe reprimand, and needless to say, she never got to see her horror flick that night. In fact, her film tastes changed overnight to the safer territory of smoochy romcoms and ‘buddy movies’ .
When she finally returned to work she did see the funny side of
this, we all had a good laugh about it, and I think she forgave me.
But I would like to seek absolution once and for all.
And please be assured that this could never happen again for two
1 The advent of digital photography sounded the death-knell for the
2 The boss confiscated my skull and I have yet to find another one. So far.