Music Played12 items
Electric Light Orchestra Rockaria!
Light Years - The Very Best Of ELO, Epic
James Blunt I'll Be Your Man
Some Kind Of Trouble, Atlantic, 1
Bread The Guitar Man
David Gates & Bread - Essentials, Elektra
(CD Single), Independiente
The Beatles While My Guitar Gently Weeps
The White Album, Parlophone, 7
Teddy Thompson Delilah
Bella, Decca, 1
Elvis Presley Guitar Man
Elvis - The Legend (Vol 3), RCA
The Human League Don't You Want Me
Fantastic 80's Disc 2 (Various Artis, Columbia
Duane Eddy Peter Gunn
Duane Eddy: That Classic Twang, Bear Family
Steve Earle Guitar Town
The No.1 Country Album (Various), Polygram Tv
Adele Set Fire To The Rain
21, XL, 5
Ella Fitzgerald Manhattan
Essential Ella, Verve
Confession: "Own Goal"
I feel inspired by the soccer-related tale to come clean about my
own footballing misdemeanour.
One Friday afternoon a couple of years ago, my car had broken down. Now I don't mind missing work, but the next day was a Saturday, match day, and my beloved, mighty, magnificent Exeter City were playing and I really needed to make that journey.
I trudged in my front door and asked my girlfriend Janet, if I could
borrow her little car to take to the football, but the response was:
"What?! Football?! It's my birthday tomorrow John! If you go to the
football on my special day, I'm leaving!". Needless to say, the rest of the evening was rather quiet at home.
The next morning, we woke late and I made Janet breakfast in bed for her birthday, subtly stuffing the personalised Exeter FC shirt I'd got her into the cupboard – as judging by last night's conversation this wasn't the
perfect birthday present I'd imagined!
I was still rather sore about being told what I could, and couldn't,
do and I was determined to see City win... "I'm not going to the
football but I still need to borrow the car - my dad needs my help for
about an hour this afternoon" I lied. Amazingly, she bought this, and said it was fine, as long as I was home by 2pm... I'd worry about that fact later.
So, I zipped off to the game and watched City dismally lose. On the way home, feeling rather bitter towards my team, I was starting to regret my rashness, thinking maybe I should have stayed home on my dear girlfriend’s birthday? Maybe I should have missed just one game? After all I do like Janet quite a lot. Maybe I should just tell her I'd spent the time with another
woman, let’s face it, she'd be less mad... but just then, passing the fields and woodland of Devon I saw a herd of deer and the perfect excuse sprang into my mind.
I stopped the car, got out and started kicking the front wing until a
large dent appeared. I flattened the seats and spread out the assorted junk in the boot into a deliberate mess. I grabbed some mud and spread it around the back, I looked down at my pristine Exeter City shirt - it had to be done - I rubbed mud all over it.... perfect.
Upon walking in my front door hours late, I saw fire and brimstone in Janet's eyes. "How dare you!?" is the broadcastable part of what she said. But as I tried to speak, she walked out of the door, only to see her
dirtied and dented car. "What have you done now?!"...she yelled. "I was trying to tell you - on the way home - I hit... well, I hit a deer".
Suddenly the tears welled up in animal-loving Janet's eyes. "I'm sorry - it wasn't dead, I couldn't just leave it there! I had to take it to the vet’s - then because it belonged to the estate, I had to fill in a police report - I'm so sorry about your car, I'll clean it now". The tears flowed. "Oh John! I'm so sorry..." She flung herself around me, tears falling on my red and white stripes...
So I seek forgiveness for the lies to Janet, her anguish for an imaginary deer and her car which I never fixed - the relationship didn't last long anyway as my excuses for why I wasn't around on Saturday afternoons, Bank holidays and some Tuesday evenings got more and more elaborate.