Music Played13 items
Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves
Duets - 36 Of The World's Greatest Ev, Telstar
Jonathan Jeremiah Heart Of Stone
(CD Single), Island, 1
The Best Pub Jukebox In The World (V), Virgin
Stevie Wonder - The Definitive Collec, Universal
The Rolling Stones 19th Nervous Breakdown
The Rolling Stones - Forty Licks, Abkco
Status Quo Rock 'n' Roll 'n' You
(CD Single), Fourth Chord Records, 1
Sam Cooke Chain Gang
Sam Cooke - The Man & His Music, RCA
Texas Black Eyed Boy
Hits Zone - The Best Of 97 (Various), Polygram Tv
Spandau Ballet Chant No. 1 (I Don't Need This Pressure On)
Greatest Hits Of The 80's (Various), Disky
Michael Franti & Spearhead The Sound Of Sunshine
The Sound Of Sunshine, EMI, 1
Toots & The Maytals Pressure Drop
The Very Best Of, Island, 12
Dionne Bromfield Foolin'
(CD Single), Lioness Records, 1
Nina Simone My Baby Just Cares For Me
Heartbeat - The 60's Gold Collection, Global Television
Confession: Bags Of Fun
Dear Father Simon and the Evangelical Hosts
On hearing the recent confession regarding the sadly lost art of wedgies, it took me back to a similar pants-themed incident, the guilt (and scarred memories) of which I have carried with me for far too long.
Said incident took place back in the 80's, which I would, at this
point, suggest was a more innocent age, with schoolboys maturing at a decidedly slower rate than the headlong gallop that seems to be the norm today. Now the nature of this confession might lead the assembled holy throng to believe that the scene of the crime was some privileged private school. In fact, it was one of the UK's comprehensives, a heady mix of social classes and widely ranging academic abilities.
This incident took place during a PE lesson, a time when the
obligatory black shorts, white vests and regulation black pumps gave
us an opportunity to indulge in one of our favourite pastimes.
Debagging involved sneaking up behind the victim, grabbing tightly onto each side of his shorts and giving a sharp tug.
The resulting sight of a 14 year old resplendent in his best
undergarments was itself highly amusing but even better, as the shorts reached the ankles, it invariably involved a comedic fall to the ground as the shorts acted as some sort of makeshift legs ‘tornique’ and caused the boy to trip over.
After a particularly sprightly session of football, marked with several
debagging incidents, started on this occasion by yours truly, we all
trudged wearily back for the post-PE ablutions. One of our party was
a lad who went by the name of ‘Boggy’. He had been the victim on a
couple of occasions and, walking into the changing rooms, decided it
was time to exact his revenge.
He sneaked up to the nearest boy who had his back to him and, with a triumphant cry, pulled his shorts swiftly and pretty expertly to the floor. Textbook stuff. A classic ‘debagging’. It was only then that we
and, more importantly Boggy, realised that this wasn't a boy at all, but our Religious Education teacher who was standing in for the normal PE teacher who was away ill. The look of incredulity on, lets just call him Mr I's face to spare his blushes, as he stood with his ‘trollies’ around his ankles was a sight that neither me nor I'm sure none of the other witnesses, will ever forget.
As the immortal words "What on earth do you think you are doing boy" burst from Mr I’s beard (I think it was compulsory for all RE teachers to sport beards), the crescendo of laughter from 40 or so schoolboys had to be heard to be believed. Boggy was unceremoniously sent to the head teacher to receive his punishment as Mr I fished for his shorts and tried to maintain (failing miserably) a semblance of dignity.
So, Father Simon, I ask for forgiveness for instigating the
proceedings which lead to the 'ultimate debagging' , not only from
Boggy, but also from Mr I who, as you might imagine, never
fully recovered the little authority that he had enjoyed prior to his 'incident'.
Yours in penitence