(Pigeon; aves aggravaticus)
“ Bo! Brap-brap-brap! Disrespect! Owned! Kali
Grey feathers, red legs, black heart.
Kali is a spiteful, petty, vindictive, s***ty little bird with a small beak and a big voice.
In fact there's only one thing in life she enjoys more than revelling in other people's misfortune, and that's causing other people's misfortune and then revelling in it a bit afterwards (like maybe over some coffee and a bagel from the bins near Pret).
She also seriously bears a grudge.
Against all of humankind for their years of tyranny against her winged brethren!
Against the entire vulpine species for their years of tyranny against her winged brethren!
Against Harry Hill for making a slightly off-colour comment re: her mum in an episode of You've Been Framed once back in 2008!
So yeah. Be afraid. Be slightly afraid.