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2 hours
First broadcast:
Thursday 09 July 2009

Jeremy Vine discusses university tuition fees, Alistair Darling's tough regulations for banks, the News of the World's possible involvement in phone tapping and racist jokes.

Music Played

12 items
  • Image for Texas

    Texas Black Eyed Boy

    Hits Zone - The Best Of 97 (Various), Polygram Tv

  • Image for Polarkreis 18

    Polarkreis 18 Allein Allein (Alone Alone)

    (CD Single), Vertigo, 1

  • Image for Lily Allen

    Lily Allen Not Fair

    (CD Single), Regal, 1

  • Image for The O'Jays

    The O'Jays Love Train

    Shades Of Soul (Various Artists), Global Television

  • Image for Franz Ferdinand

    Franz Ferdinand Take Me Out

    Crash! Indie Anthems 1982-2004 (Var), BMG

  • Image for Take That

    Take That Said It All

    (CD Single)

  • Image for David Bowie

    David Bowie Changes

    David Bowie - Best Of Bowie, EMI

  • Image for Billy Joel

    Billy Joel Uptown Girl

    An Innocent Man, CBS

  • Image for Blur

    Blur Girls And Boys

    Now 28 (Various Artists), Now

  • Image for Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

    Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band My Lucky Day

    Working On A Dream

  • Image for Paolo Nutini

    Paolo Nutini New Shoes

    (CD Single), Atlantic

  • Image for Joe Jackson

    Joe Jackson It's Different For Girls

    Joe Jackson - I'm The Man, A&M

  • Tuition Fees

    Tuition Fees

    The government is suggesting university students that live at home won’t have to pay tuition fees, but surely the point of going to university is to leave the nest?

    Find out more here.
  • UK Banks

    UK Banks

    As Alistair Darling announces tougher regulations for UK banks we ask: How much do they need regulating?

    Find out more here.
  • News Of The World

    News Of The World

    The News of The World has apparently paid damages totalling £1m to people that they illegally listened to on the phone.

    Find out more here.
  • Parish Council

    Parish Council

    The Parish council in Worcestershire has been reprimanded for telling racist jokes in a news letter, but are they racist and are they jokes?

  • The Parish Council Jokes Part 1

    1. If you take an oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disorientated?
    2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
    3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
    4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
    5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
    6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
    7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
    8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
    9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
    10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
    11. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?

  • The Parish Council Jokes Part 2

    12. ‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?
    13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
    14. What hair colour do they put on the drivers licences of bald men?
    15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
    16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
    17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive or use a computer.
    18. No one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
    19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?... try spelling Evian backwards: NAÏVE
    20. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
    21. OK… So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the ‘Jags’ and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the ‘Bucs’, what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
    22. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?


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    Jeremy Vine’s Being Human

    Jeremy Vine explores what makes us human with leading thinkers and writers in this landmark BBC…

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