Broadcasting House

Following our recent item on the use (and misuse) of Gilbert and Sullivan by politicians, many of you requested the updated lyrics to the "Major-General's Song" that we had on the show. Here they are in all their glory, courtesy of Alexander S. Bermange:

I am the very model of a modern politician:
I’ve survived many a scandal, and held many a position;
I am quick to cause controversy and media attention
Through my shock returns to government or questions of my pension.
And although a certain loan may have evaded declaration
And though some alleged I influenced a passport application,
I’ve still touched the lives and won the hearts of everyone who knows me -
Bar environmental protesters and Nicolas Sarkozy.
I’m a baron and a peer and an example to the nation,
And a master of the art of handing in a resignation;
I will not admit to wrongdoing or show the least contrition -
Oh, I am the very model of a modern politician.

I am the very model of a modern politician:
I can never answer questions straight or praise the opposition,
I’ll find explanations and excuses for all my offences,
Like the three grand lavished on my home and claimed back on expenses.
I’ve perfected ways of brushing off the outrage and derision
When it’s claimed a private meeting has affected a decision,
And no matter if it seems that I’m not on the side I used to be,
I’ll switch support from Blair to Brown now Gordon’s of more use to me.
At bouncing back from blunders I am practically unbeatable,
They’ve called me Mandy, Prince of Darkness, more that’s unrepeatable;
I often gain a meaningless new title or position -
Oh, I am the very model of a modern politician.