Chatting Up Skills

BBC Advice Chatting Up Skills

If you like someone making the first move can be scary, but your courage may well pay off. Get some tips on making the first move here...

Don't let fear of rejection put you off. You never know unless you ask

Take action

You've spent weeks eyeing them up and have discussed their every move with your mates. But somehow s/he remains a distant figure on your love horizon. So why not take matters into your own hands? Remember - you won't get any action until you take some action!

Repeat after me...

Most people would love someone else to make the first move so keep that in mind. Here's some tips to get the ball rolling:

  • Pick a time when the person you like is on their own - then you'll have their undivided attention without their mates sniggering in the background.
  • Be yourself. If they like you, it's better that they like you for who you are.
  • Don't jump in with anything too heavy. And don't try any cheesy lines - they never work. Not even in an ironic way!

'Have you been working out?'

Once you've got them alone and have started working your chat-up charm, you need to make your intentions clear (assuming you've resisted the urge to go straight in for a snog!).

Everyone loves flattery, so be sure to drop a few honest compliments into the conversation. But don't overdo it at the risk of sounding insincere. If things are going well, they're making eye contact and engaging in the conversation then take a deep breath and ask them if they'd like to go out some time.

If they say no

Don't let fear of rejection put you off. You never know unless you ask.

If they knock you back it could be for all kinds of reasons: they're too shy, they're already with someone or maybe their mate fancies you. Whatever the reason, they'll be so flattered that you asked they'll probably let you down very gently.

And when you've done it once, you'll realise that it's not really as big and scary an ordeal as you thought it was. So, what are you waiting for? Get out there!

BBC Advice factfiles are here to help young people with a broad range of issues. They're based on advice from medical professionals, government bodies, charities and other relevant groups. Follow the links for more advice from these organisations.


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