Age Difference - Older

Going out with someone older than you can be difficult and sometimes it's not a great idea. We look at popular reasons for dating someone older and examine the possible problems...

Ask yourself why they want to see someone younger

The idea of going out with someone older can be really exciting. Fast cars, dinner dates, sophisticated conversation; an older partner can lead to increased freedom in all sorts of ways. But it can also cause problems.

Financial attraction

If your other half is working, they've probably got more money than you. This is a bonus at first, but when they're paying for everything, it makes it difficult for you to make any decisions. You won't feel like equal partners and they may use their generosity against you if you split.

Different lifestyles

If they're over 18 and you're not, they'll want to go to pubs and clubs, places you can't legally go. You'll be stuck with the choice of sneaking in (running the risk of major embarrassment if you get busted), staying in alone or stopping them from doing what they want.

Their mates will probably be older than yours too, so group socialising is another problem.

An older person's motives

Ask yourself why they want to see someone younger. Maybe they've fallen madly in love but the real reasons could be less romantic. Some people love power and maybe they think a less experienced partner is easier to control. They might get a pervy kick out of dating someone underage, or perhaps they just can't pull anyone their own age.

Be honest and look at your own motives too: are they really the best thing since sliced bread, or are you attracted because they're older?

Think!

It's easy to be impulsive when you think you're in love, but love can blind you to what's really going on. You need to try to keep a clear head before making any big decisions.

If an adult has sex with a girl or boy under 16 they're breaking the law so think very carefully about what's right for you, and them, before getting involved.

Talk to people you trust and get some advice. Remember, if they don't want you to tell anyone, that's a really bad sign, so get out right away.

BBC Advice factfiles are here to help young people with a broad range of issues. They're based on advice from medical professionals, government bodies, charities and other relevant groups. Follow the links for more advice from these organisations.

Categories

Related Links

More on Sex & Relationships