On Now : Huw Stephens
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BBC Radio 1

Not Getting On With Brothers Or Sisters

Feeling like you hate your brother or sister is pretty common; siblings often drive each other up the wall. But fighting all the time is exhausting for everyone in the family - including you.

Try not to think of everything they say as being designed to get your back up

Sometimes I think I hate my brother/sister

Join the club. Loads of us hate a sibling at some point. The secret is learning to live with it.


Somehow everything they do turns you into a seething mass of envy and resentment. The root of this is probably insecurity or low self-esteem. Try to believe that your parents equally love you and your siblings, and make a mental list (or a real one, if you're feeling creative) of all your unique talents. Are you a good listener? Good at drama? Funny? There are some things your sib will be better at than you, but there'll also be things you're better at than them. It's time to stop comparing, because you're different people.

You can never agree

You and your sibling may have nothing in common, but try not to think of everything they say as being designed to get your back up. Instead of going mental, walk away from the situation. When you're both calm, ask them to sit down with you to discuss your problems with each other. Try this - agree to disagree, and focus on what you do have in common (even if that's just your family, which after all is quite a major thing).

They copy you

If they seem to be turning into a clone of you, do not despair. Yes, it's massively irritating if they wear the same clothes and listen to the same music, but it's also a compliment. If they respect your taste and style choices so much, they'll be open to you suggesting ways they can forge an image of their own. Try not to humiliate them though; they're obviously a bit insecure about their own taste if they're stealing yours.

BBC Advice factfiles are here to help young people with a broad range of issues. They're based on advice from medical professionals, government bodies, charities and other relevant groups. Follow the links for more advice from these organisations.