Not Getting On With Parents

Everyone argues with their parents at one stage or another. But fighting with them on a day to day basis can be really draining for everyone involved.

Pick your fights: let some of the little things go

Arguing all the time?

You're growing up and living under the same roof as your parents. Your hormones are all over the place and your parents may still be getting used to the fact you're no longer a baby. It's common to feel suffocated when you can't just get on with the things you want to do.

What to do

If you handle things right, you could end up winning future arguments that, at the moment, you'd lose:

  • Pick your fights: let some of the little things go.
  • Let your parents win sometimes. That way they're more likely to let you win when it's something you feel particularly strongly about.
  • If you think you went too far, apologise. They'll love it, and it sets a good example to them - maybe they'll apologise to you next time they go a bit OTT.
  • Don't lie if you can help it. If they find out, you'll have an uphill struggle trying to get them to trust you again.
  • Vent your anger in some other way than slamming doors or shouting (punching your pillow works quite well). Keeping your voice low and calm is a much more effective way of getting your message across.

Are your parents going too far?

There's a difference between family arguments and abuse. If you think your parents are mistreating you, have a look at the abuse factfile.

BBC Advice factfiles are here to help young people with a broad range of issues. They're based on advice from medical professionals, government bodies, charities and other relevant groups. Follow the links for more advice from these organisations.


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