Submit a sketch

Make sure you read our rules before you start sending us your material...

1. Download the template(s) below

2. Write your name and email address plus twitter username (if you have one) at the bottom of the document

3. Write in your sketches or one-liners - Please DO NOT submit sketches or one-liners in block capitals

4. Attach your sketches or one-liners in an email and send to:
(You will NOT receive an auto-response confirmation from However, if you do not get an "undelivered message" back, then we have received it. Thanks.)

These are .rtf files - compatible with both MAC and PC, if you’re having trouble opening it please try opening in another programme. Please do not send in a pdf of your submission.)

(This is an example of what a formatted sketch looks like - Arial 12pt, double line spacing, indentation hanging by 4cm. If you are having real problems with the template above please just get your sketch looking as close to this as possible)


Submissions open: Friday 7 September
Sketches: Noon Monday 10 September
One-Liners: Noon Tuesday 11 September
Then at the same times each week, for 5 weeks.

Submissions after these times will NOT be read.

Sketch Guidelines:

Please write an introduction for each sketch, clearly outlining the news story that it's from and setting up the sketch for clarity.

Each episode will have the following sections. The show will contain a maximum of three sketches in each section.

Arts & Entertainment

Business & Economy


Science & Technology


World News

Please think outside the box - delve deep for stories you find fun/interesting.

Sketch limit per episode: two sketches per person

One-liner guidelines:

Each episode will contain one-liners in the following forms ONLY:

Breaking News

A one-liner ideally linked to a current news story.
e.g. Who Wants to be a Millionaire’s return will be hosted by Jeremy Clarkson, who has sadly never been able to phone a friend.


A brand new feature for Series 19 - these take the form of online entries for our own online encolypedia at the end of the show.

These will be performed by the whole cast...

Examples from September 2018

1. 'The May' -- A dance routine that defies description and is prohibited.

2. 'Italian' -- A chain of restaurants so divorced from the culture they claim to be inspired by, they eventually have to be bailed out by their owner for millions of pounds.

3. 'Wongaring' -- To have no moral fibre whatsoever yet still fail to make money.

4. 'Costa-Cola' -- Disgusting drink soon to hit the high street.

5. Moanrinho -- One who complains flamboyantly about a situation entirely of their own making, while being paid a fortune.

One-liner limit per episode: six one-liners per person (3 breaking news, 3 Newsjackpedia entries).


There is a flat fee that we pay to writers for all non-commissioned material (regardless of the writer's previous experience):

£43.00 per min for sketch
£21.50 per 30 seconds for sketch
£21.50 per one-liner

If your material is used in the broadcast show, this fee will take in all rights for the work on a non-exclusive basis.


We are committed to accessibility for all. If you encounter any issues with submitting material, please do email us with your query and we will aim to provide this information in an alternative/accessible format.

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