Wednesday 29 Oct 2014
Tackling more historical, gory and bizarre facts, this week's edition of the comedy sketch show reveals a pungent Tudor toilet forecast, debunks some of the historical myths often taught as fact and reveals some of the punishments dished out to children by Victorian teachers.
The shouty man advertises the new Victorian Child, the perfect solution for dirty chimneys, while a commercial for Roman Gods Direct extols the virtues of their numerous deities and a promotion for Ye Sun offers health tips, features and stories from plague-ridden England.
Historical Wife Swap from Ancient Greece, meanwhile, finds the battle-ready Spartan Family, from Sparta, swapping with the theatre-loving Athenians, from Athens. Finally, Thomas Farriner reveals his tasty tips as he provides viewers with his run-down of the vital ingredients to start the Great Fire of London in 1666, in another helping of Ready Steady Feast.
Horrible Histories boasts some of Britain's finest comedy talent, including writers Steve Punt, Jon Holmes, Ben Ward and Giles Pilbrow. The series stars Sarah Hadland, Jim Howick, Simon Farnaby, Martha Howe Douglas, Matthew Baynton and Ben Willbond. Meera Syal guest stars as the Fairy Tale narrator and John Eccleston is the puppeteer for the Horrible Histories Rat.
Syed decides to teach his mother a lesson in tonight's visit to Albert Square.
Meanwhile, Chelsea has an encounter with a new man and Debra continues with her attempts to turn Whitney against Bianca. Ronnie is also plotting to keep Roxy and Amy out of Jack's life.
Syed is played by Marc Elliott, Chelsea by Tiana Benjamin, Debra by Ruth Gemmell, Whitney by Shona McGarty, Bianca by Patsy Palmer, Ronnie by Samantha Janus, Roxy by Rita Simons and Jack by Scott Maslen.
Sue Barker is the presenter at the famous Queen's Club in south-west London, where some of the world's top players are in action.
Scot Andy Murray has been in fine form over the last 12 months and will be hoping to become the first Briton in the modern era to win the singles title at Queen's. Last year saw Murray's best effort so far when he reached the last eight before a thumb-injury forced him to withdraw from his match against four-time former Queen's champion Andy Roddick.
Krod Mandoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire is a groundbreaking action-comedy starring Sean Maguire (Meet The Spartans, Dangerfield, EastEnders) and Matt Lucas (Little Britain). In the darkest days of the Meconian Empire, tyranny reigned throughout the land, until a glimmer of hope arrived – the son of a blacksmith and a stay-at-home mum, a man of unwavering determination: Krod Mandoon (Maguire), the last great hope in the struggle against the evil ruler, Chancellor Dongalor (Lucas).
To help fight the great fight, Krod has assembled a band of remarkably ineffectual freedom fighters: Aneka, the beautiful Pagan warrioress whose weapon of choice is sex; Loquasto, the oafish servant with bad aim; Zezelryck, the young warlock whose greatest magical gift is spinning a line; and Bruce, the bereaved lover of Krod's late mentor. Together, they must overcome myriad evil obstacles in their quest to save the world, including name calling, hired assassins and bad-hair days.
In the first episode, Krod and the gang go on a mission to rescue General Arcadius, Krod's mentor and the leader of the resistance against the evil Meconian Empire. Dongalor reveals that he is in possession of the ultimate weapon of mass destruction, the Eye of Gulga Grymna.
Krod learns that he is "the Golden One", the central figure in a prophecy that foretells the destruction of the Empire. Dongalor is smitten with a peasant girl and discovers he needs to add a significant piece to the Eye before it can become fully operational.
Krod is played by Sean Maguire, Dongalor by Matt Lucas, Aneka by India de Beaufort, Loquasto by Steve Speirs, Zezelryck by Kevin Hart and Bruce by Marques Ray.
Robert Webb and David Mitchell return to BBC Two for a new series, which opens with sketches, including the difficult home life of Santa Claus, Mrs Claus and Santa's troubled brother, Russ, who refuses to get a job: "I'm not going back on the assembly line – not with the elves."
The duo also show off Jan Hankl's exciting new technique for finding books and car keys simply by patting your thighs; explain the best way to discover a murderer – get all the suspects together in a Twenties drawing room and wait until one of them starts doing an evil voice; and reveal an argument between Queen Victoria and Lord Palmerston about things you definitely can't mention if you're Victorian.
Among returning characters, there's Hennimore and his boss, who work in an office that is destroyed each week by completely unpredictable accidents. This week, there's a tragic mix up involving a set of golf clubs, a bottle of Scotch and a bitter hatred of Jack Nicklaus.
A policeman explains to a Community Support officer why he can't commit police brutality, only "Community Support brutality". There's part one of a thrilling new quiz show coming just after the end of civilisation, where contestants compete to win top prizes like food and fuel. And the lazy writers return with the least-researched-ever series about spying: "My wife suspects I'm a spy" "How?" "Too many unexplained buttons on the dashboard."
And, on top of all that, a genius explains why firing a dog out of cannon is better than a doorbell.
That Mitchell And Webb Look is simulcast on the BBC HD channel – the BBC's High Definition channel available through Freesat, Sky and Virgin Media.
Soprano Natalya Romaniw will have plenty of supporters on her Welsh home turf when she steps out at St David's Hall in Cardiff for the penultimate concert of BBC Cardiff Singer Of The World 2009.
She will be performing alongside: Australia's Katherine Tier (mezzo); Chilean baritone Javier Arrey; Vira Slywotzky, competing as a soprano for the USA; and the Czech Republic's bass, Jan Martiník.
Each singer will be hoping to make it through to the top five in Saturday's final.
BBC Cardiff Singer Of The World 2009 is presented by Petroc Trelawny and Josie D'Arby.
Lau Lau has set up three bananas in a bowl for the Cheebies to paint, in today's visit to the magical land of Nara, home of the Piplings and gateway to Waybuloo.
Bananas are Yojojo's favourite, but Lau Lau tells him he can't eat any until later. When Lau Lau heads off to get some yellow paint, Yojojo tries several ways to stop himself eating the bananas but his willpower isn't very good and he eats two of them.
When the Cheebies arrive, they convince Yojojo to confess to Lau Lau. But he slips on the banana skins and she guesses what has happened before he has a chance to tell her.
There's still one banana left, and Lau Lau forgives him while the Cheebies help him not to eat it. Yojojo demonstrates great self restraint, the banana is painted, and Lau Lau agrees that he can now have it. But he wants to share it and is worried that one banana doesn't seem enough. Luckily, De Li and Nok Tok return to the group with lots more bananas for everyone.
Rough seas mean a long wait for Steve Backshall and his team as they continue their quest to encounter some of the most fearsome predators on the planet. Confined to shore in the Cape in South Africa, bad weather thwarts their plans to find perhaps the most feared animal in the world...
Instead, a trip inland to an animal sanctuary provides Steve with a selection of fearsome species to add to his list. The Guinness Book Of Records describes the honey badger as the world's most fearless animal, and Steve discovers that the creature richly deserves its title, when he takes Buster hunting inland and is terrorised by a small animal that has been known to drive lions off their prey.
A caracal also stakes her claim to be on the list by demonstrating razor-sharp credentials. She is an incredible wild cat with large ears that can lock onto targets. Like all big cats, she has superb night vision and can run short distances at speed. But the caracal's special move is its leap – it can jump up to three metres, catching birds taking flight.
Finally, searching for Great White sharks on an inflatable boat in a storm takes its toll on some of the crew. But the hardship proves worthwhile when they experience an incredibly close encounter with some two-tonne killing machines.
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