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Starts Tuesday 10 January on BBC THREE

Category: BBC THREE; TV Ent
Date: 03.01.2006
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The Italian Lady

An extremely shy cleaning lady working at a National Trust property who will do anything to get attention. "Don't look at me, I'm shy!"

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The Twitching Darters

Paula, the proud captain of Scorton Ladies' Darts Team, is a highly competitive sportswoman. Sadly her prowess on the ochey is hampered by her nervous twitch and jealous streak. "Right there!"

Maxine Bendix

Thirty-two and single, Maxine has undergone extensive cosmetic surgery. Her face is full of collagen and botox, her breasts are pumped with silicone, her tummy has been stapled and tucked and her bottom has been vacuumed to within an inch of its life. Much of this work has been done on the cheap and now she leaks from her key areas at the most inappropriate times and places. "Don't worry, it's just a little bit of seepage."

The Harrogate Ladies

These menopausal ladies meet every week to work on their patchwork quilts, and enjoy the sound of The Carpenters. What makes them unusual is that they do it whilst naked from the waist down. "More Carpenters, ladies?"

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Don Peacock

Balding, lonely bachelor Don lingers in his grim bedsit, desperate to fulfil his personal fantasy to a succession of unwitting and unwilling lady visitors. "And all that and everything changes but you."

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Mrs Baxter

Mrs Baxter wants a fight and she wants it now. This genteel-looking, middle-aged lady will not take no for an answer and doesn't stop until her confused victims agree to give in. "I want to have a fight and I want that fight to start now!"

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Parker and Harris

Perverted pathologist Susan Parker and her heavy-breathing assistant Ms Harris are always first on the scene of a serious crime. However, solving the crime is the last thing on their minds… as Parker reveals she simply "cannot resist a stiffy."

The Shut Up Family

They may be 2.4, but they're not normal. Mum, Dad and their daughters enjoy nothing better than tucking into a plate of duck and chips – apart, that is, from telling each other to "Shut up!"

Trina and Jean

Two bored, seated attendants at a National Trust property who violently abuse each other out of sight of the visiting crowds.

Carol and Leslie-Marie

Carole longs for her charming adopted daughter Leslie-Marie to swap her A grades for ASBOs and dreams of an invitation to the Trisha Goddard Show. "Help, she's got a knife!"

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Melody Nation

Melody performs an impressive array of dance moves with her equally impressive, and somewhat laid-back, rabbit.

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The Singing Teacher

Gwyneth is a chain-smoking, world-weary and embittered singing teacher. Her keen young pupil Anita is desperate to get into musicals. But as Anita proudly performs her annoying nasal renditions of her favourite show tunes, Gwyneth's only concern is how to shut her up – for good. "Let's have some fun with that now dear, shall we?"

Melanie, Colleen and Nathalie

Three urban girls discuss contemporary public figures. "Mash it up, Mistah George Bush. You is out ave conchtrawl."

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Tressemme Godsend

A gospel-singing, bible-bashing water aerobics teacher who simply cannot practice what she preaches.

Stella the Market Thief

Scouse Stella will stoop to any level in order to grab freebies from her local market.

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