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Eyes
Down - Paul O'Grady is Ray
Paul
O'Grady is poised to clickety-click with viewers as misanthropic
bingo hall manager Ray in Eyes Down, the popular entertainer's sitcom
debut written by Angela Clarke.
In
the lottery of life, Ray feels he's more than a full house away
from job satisfaction - so he dips his tongue in vitriol before
welcoming punters to his Liverpool lair, home of dashed hopes and
broken dreams.
Paul
has taken to his first sitcom like bingo's two little ducks to water.
"I
was sent a script and fancied it because it was a big change for
me," he says.
"The
stuff I get sent is always the same - I'm either the hard-bitten
drag queen in the bar who says, 'Take it from me, kid, life's tough',
or a drug addict or seller or some dreadful old tranny."
Paul's
an amiable charmer, unlike his latest character.
The
fast-talking funny man, taking a break from rehearsals and sharing
his home-grown strawberries, explains: "Ray hates humanity,
pensioners in particular - but when you look at what he's got to
deal with, you're not surprised he's wicked and snide.
"He's
a deeply frustrated man. The things I say to the customers in the
bingo hall are dreadful because I hate them all; I loathe them."
He
grins, a twinkle in his blue-green eyes.
"It's
because of Ray's frustration - he thinks he should be doing something
better. He's been there 18 years and he's had enough.
"And
he has these dreadful pensioners who've got tongues as bad as himself
and they're always at him - they
don't leave him alone for a minute, they blame him for everything."
Paul,
47, believes there's a terrible snobbery about bingo in Britain.
"People
who play are looked down on by the ones who don't. They associate
it with pensioners and slappers in shell suits.
"But
all sorts of people go to bingo halls now and, for a lot of them,
it's company, it's a social thing.
"But
it's also seen as a very working-class thing whereas in the States,
where it originated, it's massive."
The
award-winning Birkenhead-born star, the youngest child of three,
isn't one for having a flutter himself.
"I
played bingo as a kid but I'm not a gambler," he says.
"I've
only done the lottery once and I won a grand. I was in the musical
Annie at the time so me and all the little girls who played the
orphans went out and by the time the day was over, the grand had
gone!
"But
I haven't got whatever it is you need to be a gambler - that winning
thing. I couldn't give a damn so it floats over me. Otherwise I'd
be down the betting office every day on Valium."
On
set, says Paul, he's having a ball. "It's a challenge and a
change.
"It's
also," he admits, "getting away from Lily. I'm so sick
of putting all that gear on. People have said, 'why aren't you doing
her any more?' and that's the reason, especially in this weather;
it's stifling, it's unbearable."
Paul's
transformation into the acid-tongued, peroxide Blonde Bombsite from
Birkenhead - Savage is his mother's maiden name - takes about an
hour.
"That's
costume, nails and glueing wigs on. This job's lovely. I ruffle
my hair up and that's it, I'm finished.
"Also,
I'm not arriving with bags and bin liners with wigs and all sorts
in - it's like a travelling circus."
But
he hasn't hung up his frocks and boobs for good.
"I'm
doing her again at Christmas. I quite like doing her every now and
then because you have a laugh when you're up on stage with an audience,
it's great."
So
where is she now? "On holiday in Barbados," comes the
quick-fire reply.
Another
reason for Lily's arrival on the scene was to act as a protective
barrier between Paul and his audience.
"When
journalists come to the house, I think they expect leopard skin
and pink ruched curtains," says Paul, who has a farm in Kent
and a London base near Tower Bridge.
"They
don't expect what they get, but we're totally different, me and
Lily. We've got nothing in common. I've never shoplifted!
"There's
a lot of things she does I'd like to do. I think that's what it
is with Lily - she does and says the things I'd like to do and say,
but never could, I haven't got the bottle.
"And
I wouldn't be so rude anyway. That's why I could never get up and
do stand-up as myself, because I'd think, this is my opinion. As
Lily, it's her warped opinion on life.
"I've
done stuff as myself, but I always hold back; I put the brakes on,
although I'm getting better.
"I
used to go on and be very reserved; because I didn't have a telly
persona as myself, I didn't know how to behave.
"And
then I thought, just be yourself. If they don't like it, bugger
them!"
Paul,
the warm-hearted father of daughter Sharyn, 28,
bought a property in Kent from comedian Vic Reeves and is gradually
turning it into a farm, where he grows his own fruit and veg.
He
is passionate about animals: "I've
got geese, chicken, ducks, doves, dogs and I'm getting horses, donkeys
and a cow.
"I
love animals and I've never been without one. I used to have ferrets
- you're lucky I haven't got one in my pocket," he quips.
He
adds with some astonishment: "It puts people off when they
come round the house and there's an owl and a couple of goats and
a goose sitting in the kitchen, all quite happy."
Paul
recently passed his driving test at the second attempt and now owns
a new Beetle convertible.
"It's
beautiful, I'm mad on it. Driving is the best thing that's ever
happened to me," he confides.
"But
there's always something in the back - a sick goose or chickens.
I could put a kid through Roedean for what I pay in vet bills every
year," he reflects.
The
sky's the limit for Paul now - he's taking flying lessons and loves
it.
"It's
a bit hairy when you first do it, though," he admits.
"And
you can't afford to make a mistake because it's instant death, so
you've really got to concentrate. The theory's the hardest - the
map reading and all that - that's really hard."
And
he reveals: "I'm dyslexic with figures - I'm really bad. I'm
OK with words, but figures - not a clue.
"It's
got worse as I've got older although I've long stopped being embarrassed
about it. I used to say I hadn't got my glasses or other excuses.
"Then
I thought, if little kids can cope with it, I can. So now I just
admit it. And you'd be surprised - when you say, I'm dyslexic with
figures, people say, so am I. They sort of come out of the closet,
as it were."
Paul
has turned his life around since his near-fatal heart attack in
April last year.
"I'm
better than ever," he says, "although I went back on the
ciggies when I was learning to drive which has annoyed me, because
I gave up for 10 months. And I felt so much healthier for packing
them up.
"But
as soon as filming Eyes Down finishes, I'm coming off 'em.
"I
hate them," he adds vehemently. "I wish they'd charge
60 quid for a packet of ciggies and ban them completely. I'm so
annoyed, because it's the one monkey on my back I haven't shaken
off."
He's
also drastically reduced his alcohol consumption.
"I'll
have the odd one, but not very often. I used to go out every night
of the week but I can't be bothered," he shrugs.
And
he recalls that even at the 60th birthday bash for one of his best
friends, Cilla Black, he had only three drinks.
"And
I had just as good a time as if I was roaring drunk, and no hangover
on the Sunday. I've been there, done it."
The
tall, lean entertainer, looking fit and relaxed, reveals: "But
when I had the heart attack I grew up overnight.
"I
tend to eat a lot of fruit and veg now. Instead of having three
meals a day, I'll have lots of little meals and I've given up dairy
produce, although my cholesterol level wasn't high. I'm cursed because
my Mum and Dad both had it, so it's passed on.
"My
sister and my brother have both had heart attacks and it seems to
be getting younger down the line."
But
the down-to-earth star agrees that the pace of his former life could
be a factor.
"In
this game you work so hard and you play hard as well. In the end
you're burning the candle at both ends - you're not getting any
sleep, you're drinking far too much and you're not eating properly.
"I
was really miserable before I had the heart attack," he admits.
"I wasn't well - I was permanently tired. But
I'm now quite happy with what I've got," he adds contentedly.
"So
long as I've got enough to pay everything off, I'm fine, that suits
me. I don't want millions in the bank. Well," he adds hastily,
"I do, but I'm not going to kill myself to get it."
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