Michael
Caine talks to Parkinson on Saturday 30 November, BBC ONE at 10.25pm
In
a special one guest show, Michael Parkinson explores the fascinating
story of one of Britain's best loved actors.
Michael
Caine talks openly and honestly about his secret half-brother, his
working-class family, meeting the Queen, and he also reveals the
history of the infamous catchphrase, "not a lot of people know
that."
Michael
Parkinson asks the actor about the recent revelation that he had
a half brother which his mother had kept secret from the family
for over 50 years.
Michael
Caine explains: "[My mother] had an illegitimate child before
she married my father. What happened was a newspaper was doing an
article on mental health establishments in England.
"Unbeknown
to me, my half brother [who was an inmate there] had a girlfriend
who was a bit brighter than him - you couldn't understand what he
said but you could understand what she said."
He
continues: "The newspaper man got together a group of the more
lucid, brighter ones - amongst which was my brother's girlfriend.
"Unbeknown
to me, my mother had visited [my brother] every Monday - with the
exception of the war - for 50 years…"
Caine
continues: "My mother was dead by the time I found this out,
she was gone for two or three years.
"I
asked the matron at the hospital, 'how did this all keep quiet?'
The matron said 'your mother used to bring a Bible and every new
nurse had to swear on the Bible that this [boy] was not [your] brother.'
"She'd
given him a picture of me from [the film] Zulu so he knew who I
was when [he saw me] on the television. [My brother's] girlfriend
told the reporter that he was [my] brother."
Caine
tells Parkinson how keen he was to meet his brother after all these
years.
"I
wanted to go and see him immediately. I went to see him. Do you
know, the odd thing was that the name of the asylum was Cane Hill,
on the other side of Streatham, but he'd been moved to another place
by the time I found him."
He
continues: "He died about 18 months after I got to know him.
I went and saw him and had long conversations with him through the
nurse because I couldn't understand what he was saying.
"He
suffered from epilepsy when he was young and in those days they
used to lock him in the cellar, with a stone floor.
"And
of course he's bouncing about on that, and he was probably quite
intelligent, but he'd bashed himself into a bloody brain abnormality.
"My
mother gave him to the Salvation Army to look after him... There
was this incredible story."
Parkinson
then asks Caine if his mother had told his dad? Caine replies: "Oh
no, he'’d have killed her [laughs]!"
Caine
continues to say: "I felt absolute amazement, how she'd fooled
us all for years, every Monday. She used to come to the country
every Sunday and my driver would drive her home the next day in
the Rolls Royce.
"One
day the driver said, 'she always gets out at the bus stop on Streatham
High Road' and the penny never dropped, but she was catching the
bus to the asylum round the corner.
"She'd
buy and pick up chocolates, candy, cake and ice cream but when I'd
go and see her, there was never anything in the fridge and I used
to think, 'where's she putting all this stuff?'
"She
was giving it to him. It's amazing."
He
concludes: "Some of the most successful people I know are bastards!
[Laughs - with audience] Hard to get a laugh out of that story isn’t
it?!"
Caine
then talks about his relationship with his parents, and explains
there were both good and bad times.
He
says: "My father died of cancer when I was in a real state.
I was out of work. I had just got separated from my first wife.
"I
had a little baby… you know when there are periods when it
doesn't rain, it pours. It was just one thing after the other. I
couldn't believe it.
"It
was very strange because I'd just done a picture called Last Orders
which I die of cancer in St Thomas' Hospital. If you see it, I'm
very good because my father died of cancer in St. Thomas' Hospital
and I just copied his death.
"That's
sense-memory carried to an extreme - and you don't normally want
to do it, believe me."
He
goes on to explain the fun relationship he had with his mother.
"She
was a 'char lady'. Her forewoman in the char-ladying business was
Mrs. Nelhams.
"And
my mother's name is Mrs. Micklewhite… they both had famous
sons and our mothers wouldn't give up their jobs.
"I
was begging my mother to give up the char-ladying business because
I was already a millionaire. And my mother cleaning floors, and
she says 'I'll have nowhere to go in the morning'.
"Then
one day they're talking. Mrs Nelhams says 'my son's a famous rock
'n' roll singer' and my mum says, 'my son's a famous actor'. Mrs
Nelhams says, 'what's his name' and my mum says, 'Maurice Micklewhite'.
Mrs Nelhams goes, 'I've never heard of him’.
"Then
my mum goes, 'what's your rock 'n' roll son's name then' and Mrs.
Nelhams says, 'Terry Nelhams'.
"My
mum comes home that night and asks me 'here, have you ever heard
of a rock 'n' roll singer called Terry Nelhams?' And
I said, 'yeah, that's his real name. That's Adam Faith'. That's
the two of us, Terry Nelhams and Maurice Micklewhite."
Parkinson
jokes with Caine when he says he is the only 'Knight of the Realm
who once shared his bedroom with a haddock'.
Caine
explains the story: "My father was a fish market porter and
we lived in a prefab in the Elephant & Castle. He used to steal
fish for us, and he always stole too much for us to put in out tiny
fridge….
"He
brought home some haddock one night, a lot of haddock… My brother
and I slept in the same bedroom, with the windows open for fresh
air, so my father used to keep the fish in the bedroom…
"What
I didn't know is that smoked haddock is covered in phosphorus and
so in the middle of the night I woke up to go to the toilet and
there was all this glowing at the end of the bed. And I thought
it was a ghost… and it frightened the life out of me. And put
me off fish - I still don't eat fish."
Caine
then reveals to Parkinson the history of the catchphrase which has
been attached to him for many decades - and is still used by several
Michael Caine impressionists to this day.
The
culprit? Peter Sellers.
Michael
explains: "Peter Sellers said that. Peter always had the new
gadgets. So he was the first one to have an answerphone.
"I
called him one day and he wasn't in, and there was me saying 'My
name is Michael Caine and I just want to tell you that Peter Sellers
isn't in. And not many people know that'.
"He
invented that [phrase] so anyone that called him got me saying 'not
many people know that'."
Parkinson
then asks Caine about his film career. He asks the actor if he's
ever "got carried away" with any of his leading ladies.
Caine
answers: "No I never did. [Love scenes] are very awkward to
do. I know everyone says, 'yeah, yeah, I'll bet they're awkward'.
[but] they’re always artificial.
"Either
the girl is topless and her boobs are out and no ones looking at
you - they're looking at her tits.
"Or
else it's completely artificial and the sheets like an L-shaped
sheet - it comes up to here on the guy and up to here on her [gestures].
"She's
moving about in the bed with a man she's been married to for 20
years, trying to hide her bosom."
He
continues: "You never have a romance during the movie. The
man always comes off worse. I’ve seen it a dozen times.
"You'll
see an actor in a movie, and you'll say 'I really love that actor,
but he wasn't very good in that movie, he was kinda subdued', well
that means he's screwing the leading lady.
"I
could mention… but I'm not going to. Because I don't want to
get sued - by two parties!"
Caine
then tells Parkinson about his love for the movies, and the main
reasons he became an actor.
He
says: "I was a big movie fan, massive movie fan. I used to
go to the cinema seven times a week…
"The
only reason I became an actor is because I couldn't do anything
else, I was too stupid … and I wanted to meet beautiful girls.
"But
I had never seen in British cinema anyone who really represented
me. It was very rare you had a young working class man to identify
with."
He
continues: "When I was looking for someone in the movies to
identify with there wasn't anybody [here] but working class Americans,
like Jimmy Cagney, Humphrey Bogart.
"Englishmen
on the screen were either sissies, neurotic, gay, effeminate, afraid
of women, having nervous breakdowns. They were always fallible especially
where women were concerned.
"Now
I came on, I was Alfie so that's all the women taken care of, The
Italian Job we won the football and got the gold, even though we
lost it in the end, and Carter, you get your nose pushed down your
throat.
"So
there were the three iconic things for a young man to look at. An
Englishmen on the that was all those things, but off the screen
I'm
not any of those things, I'm not very tough at all."
Caine
is reportedly tipped for an Oscar nomination next year for his performance
in the second film version of Graham Greene's novel The Quiet American.
The
actor tells Parkinson: "I was very fortunate to get a part
this good, when I was old enough to do it and experienced enough
to make the most of it, to my abilities - obviously there are other
actors who could have done it better - but I did it to the greatest
of my abilities.
"When
that film finished I had nothing left. I got home and said to my
wife, 'I've done it, that'’s it. I don't want to do anything
else for the moment. Not for a week or so!'"
He
adds: "I don't have to work, but I love to work. But I don't
want to do crap.
"So
I will sit, I sat for two years, because I didn't see anything I
wanted to do.
"And
then I got Blood & Wine with Jack Nicholson, and then I sat
and got Little Voice and then I sat and got Cider House Rules…
so they're things I find interesting.
"It's
not about the money anymore - some of the pictures I do, they haven't
got any money. It's just the joy of trying to get it right.
"Also
I think if you give up, you die. What am I gonna do? Watch EastEnders?
I lived EastEnders for 30 years!"
Caine
also tells Michael an amusing story of when he used to meet the
Queen.
He
jokes: "There was a deed for one of my properties where the
Queen had the right to go through the back road of my property.
"She
used to go to the race courses (in Windsor) and there was a road
at the back, and the Queen used to be riding through in a Land Rover.
"It's
a true story- I couldn't make this stuff up. I’m not that clever!
"And
she used to say 'Hello Mr Caine, how are you?' and I used to say
'very well ma'am', drop my hat and grovel a bit. And 'hope I get
a Knighthood ma'am!"
Michael
Caine talks to Parkinson on Saturday 30 November, BBC ONE at 10.25pm
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