Some children have more problems than others sharing their parents' affection with a brother or sister. The age gap between children is thought to have an effect on the strength of sibling rivalry. It's been found a gap of between two and four years often produces the worst jealousy, while there seems to be less of a problem if the gap's larger (more than five years) or smaller (less than 18 months). But each child is an individual, and their behaviour will have its unique characteristics. Even though some jealousy is normal, it can make children insecure or unhappy and might spoil the relationship between siblings. It makes sense for you to try to manage rivalry whenever possible. Preparing your child for a new babyWhile you and your partner are thrilled to be expecting again, your child may be less than happy. This isn't inevitable, though. Some may be as pleased, even more so, than you. There are things you can do to reduce jealous feelings before the birth: - Explain in advance - tell your child you're pregnant and another baby will soon join the family. Nine months can seem like an eternity to a small child so there's no need to tell her too soon, but you don't want her to find out from someone else either.
- Reassure her - give plenty of comfort to a child who seems worried or upset and explain you'll always love her.
- Be honest - explain that babies can't do anything for themselves and need a lot of time and attention. Also explain that they tend to cry a lot and it's their way of communicating.
- Involve your child - where possible, get your child to help in preparing for the baby.
- Avoid change - try to avoid making changes to her routine close to the birth.
Reading books together about having a new baby can also help your child understand any changes that may be around the corner. Both boys and girls can enjoy having a doll to practise with, too. |
