Risky behaviour Some teenagers seem to be determined to take risks. How should you react?

A small minority of teenagers seem almost addicted to taking risks. They may steal cars, drive too fast, destroy property or even cross railway lines to spray graffiti.

Boys are more likely to be involved in these sorts of activities, which are often seen as macho or a passport to adulthood.

If your child's behaving in this way, you need to make it clear you don't condone it and that he must face up to, and be responsible for, his actions. But it's also important to continue to give him your love and support.

Smoking

The first cigarette behind the bike shed is often seen as an introduction to adolescence and many teenagers experiment with smoking. But nicotine is extremely addictive.

How to help your teenager avoid smoking:

• If you smoke, give up - children from non-smoking homes are much less likely to take up the habit
• Explain that it's better never to start smoking as it can lead to addiction
• Remind your teenager how expensive smoking is
• Talk about the dangers to health (although teenagers are often unconcerned about this)
• If your teenager smokes regularly, keep an open discussion going, encouraging him to give up rather than trying to force the issue
• Many people, adults included, take up smoking because they find it relieves stress, so if this is the case with your teen, help him find other ways of relieving stress

Staying out late

Getting teenagers to come home at a reasonable hour can be a major battle, but it's important young people are able to begin making judgements for themselves about what's safe.

It's sensible to know where your teen will be. "I hope you have a great time, leave me a number in case of emergencies" is likely to get a better response than "You're not leaving until I know exactly who you'll be with and where."

If rules are reasonable and explained, most teenagers tend to cooperate. If this doesn't work, it's time to state your boundaries. If they're not met, introduce sanctions such as being grounded.

Drug taking

Taking drugs allows teenagers to get high or to shut out the real world, and many teenagers try something at some point.

Drug addiction is, however, much less common. Teenagers who go on to use hard drugs or become addicted are often lacking something in their lives, perhaps they have an unhappy home situation, overwhelming pressure from school or friends, or low self-esteem.

Many adults rely on alcohol, tranquillisers or antidepressants to help them cope with life's pressures. It's important to think carefully about the pills you pop or the socially acceptable drugs you use regularly. Remember, you lead by example.

Your doctor can put you in touch with local drugs and addiction agencies, for support and advice, if you feel you need more information and help.

Alcohol

Excessive drinking can have devastating consequences for young people.

If your teenager sees you regularly drinking heavily or getting drunk, he may be less likely to be cautious about it himself.

It's most important to stress to teenagers that they should never drink and drive, or take a lift from someone who's been drinking. Remind them how dangerous it is, as well as the fact that it's illegal.

If your teenager comes home drunk, there's no point in creating a scene at the time, it's probably better to make sure he drinks some water and gets to bed safely.

However, it's vitally important to talk to him about it the next day. Don't overreact but explain that sticking to just a couple of drinks means you enjoy the occasion safely.

Your teen also needs to know that someone who has become unconscious or incapable through drink is at grave risk - far more accidental deaths are caused in this way than by drugs. Ensure they know to get help if they are with someone in this state.

Contacting the police or the ambulance service, or getting the victim to A&E without delay is vital.

Heavy drinking

Some teenagers drink very heavily and become dependent on alcohol. If you think your teen is developing an alcohol problem, take it very seriously and get help.

Drug and alcohol abuse

If you think your teenager is abusing drugs or alcohol:

• Talk to your child. Voice your fears and say that you sympathise. Do all you can to encourage him to share information. If he won't talk to you, try to find a relative or close friend he can talk with instead.
• Encourage your teenager to make sensible choices, by stressing the health risks involved rather than laying down the law or giving ultimatums. With drugs, remind him it's illegal behaviour that could lead to arrest and prosecution.
• Build your teenager's self-esteem by concentrating on the positive aspects of his life and keeping communication open. If you feel professional help is necessary, consult your GP or find an appropriate support group.
• Stress your love is unconditional and, even though you may be disappointed in the behaviour, you'll be there to support him no matter what.

This article was last reviewed by Heather Welford in September 2008.

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