Giving praise Claire Halsey Praise is simply a genuine, positive comment, said with a warm look and tone, that helps children understand they're valued.

Affection, looks, gestures and words allow your children to develop a view of themselves as loved and lovable. Acting in this way will encourage them to tackle new challenges and bounce back if things don't go their way.

Your praise will work best if you go up to your child, get their attention by using their name, look them in the eye, then say specifically what you liked. For example, "Jade, you cleaned your teeth, well done" or "Nadim, thanks for helping me put away the toys, you did well".

What to avoid

Your praise will be disregarded if it's insincere or doesn't match your look and tone.

Avoid giving praise with a sting in the tail. This sort of praise starts off well but ends with an implied criticism that wipes away the positive comment. For example, try not to say: "Rory, well done for making your bed - shame you don’t do it everyday" or "Lily, you shared your toy so nicely - what a pity you hit May with it yesterday".

It's worth persevering

Sometimes you may struggle to find things to praise. But look hard and praise small things - without positive comments your child is likely to find negative ways to get your attention.

You can never praise too much! Your child will not be spoiled or big-headed if you give frequent, genuine praise that reflects the effort they've put into tasks as well as the outcomes they achieve.

This article was last reviewed by Heather Welford in September 2008.

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