Throughout these years you need to make sure your child has love, isn't under too much pressure to 'measure up' in particular ways and is appreciated for being himself. It's also during these years that you have the greatest opportunity to teach your values and beliefs before your child turns outwards from your family towards peers during adolescence. Use these years to spend time together - answer questions, especially those of a moral nature, and give facts about alcohol, drugs and sex before it becomes too difficult to talk. These are the years when your child still wants to be close to you - make the most of them! Tips for good relationships- Keep up positive communication talking and listening, or it may become impossible in the teen years.
- Allow as much independence as possible - even if it involves some risks. Children need to discover things through their own mistakes.
- Give lots of praise. Children already get too much criticism at school, from friends, in competitive games etc. You can help build their self-esteem and self-worth.
- Help develop your child's conscience. Explain the rules of behaviour and why they're important. Don't expect too much - parents sometimes fall into the trap of measuring their children with an adult yardstick which means they'll always fall short. Avoid doing this with your children.
- Be positive, not negative. Avoid using cross words, scolding your child or finding fault too often: "You haven't washed your face properly", "Your clothes don't look right" or "I knew you were going to spill that".
Teach by example. Your children are bound to imitate what they see you do. The best way to get your children to do what you want is to demonstrate it, not order them to do it!
This article was last reviewed by Heather Welford in September 2008.
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