Starting secondary school Eileen Hayes Be prepared for some insecurity when your child starts secondary school - it's a big step!

Moving on up

Your child has been used to the relatively small, secure environment of primary school, where he's become a large fish in a small pond. Suddenly he's got to adjust to the large, much less personal world that is secondary school.

You too may find this a difficult time, as it brings home the fact that he's moving on to a new stage in his growth that will end in adulthood. You may worry about which school he's going to, how he'll get there, and whether he can cope with new friends, new subjects and all the other pressures.

• Make every effort not to pass on your anxiety to your child. Be positive and up-beat about the change.
• If your child expresses worries, show you're sympathetic, but remind him that all the new children will be feeling the same.
• For the first week or so, try to arrange for at least one parent to see him off in the morning and be there when he gets home.
• Most primary schools arrange visits to secondary schools; if yours doesn't, arrange one yourself before the new school term begins.
• Make sure all necessary uniform, physical education (PE) kit and equipment is sorted out so your child doesn't start at a disadvantage.
• Make sure your child is fully aware of road safety issues, to ensure they're safe during the journey into school.
• Be prepared for some insecurity in the beginning. Regression to more childish behaviour, tears and tempers, or feeling ill and unable to go to school are all common.
• Keep a careful eye on things while he's settling in. Chat often about the work and the new subjects, and take an interest in homework and new friendships.
• Check out what pastoral care the school provides, so you can be reassured that your child's problems will be taken seriously and dealt with effectively.
• Homework needs to be taken more seriously. Make sure your child has a quiet place to work undisturbed by others. Some children like to get it done and out of the way as soon as they come home, others need a break to unwind before going back to it. Your child needs to learn to work in his own way and organise his own time, so don't interfere too much unless the work isn't getting done.

Trouble adjusting

Occasionally children find the transfer to secondary just too much and begin to show real dislike for school. When this happens it's important to talk to your child and the school to find out what's going on and what can be done to help the situation.

Your child may be finding the work overwhelming or even boring, or he might be finding it hard to make new friends. It's important to tackle this early, as some children end up playing truant or refusing to attend school if the problem's not resolved. Remember your support and confidence in your child will help him thrive and make the move to secondary school go more smoothly.

This article was last reviewed by Heather Welford in September 2008.

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