Games, changes and fears Your child's quick decisions and risky behaviour can leave you constantly anxious about her wellbeing and safety. She will be very self-conscious and aware of her developing body. Don't be tempted to dismiss these fears or take the edge off an atmosphere by making a joke. Your pre-teen will take this as a sign that you don't understand her and will be less likely to share her feelings with you again.
 Your child may confide in adults outside the family
This can also be a time of anxiety for your child, who may be questioning how she fits in with friends, and perhaps worrying about whether their bodies and feelings are 'normal'. Your child may confide in adults outside the family such as grandparents or aunts and uncles, leaving you feeling left out and even jealous. Your child's rebelliousness and demands for independence may hide her need for support and understanding. It can be confusing to be asked for help five minutes after your opinion has been rejected. This is a part of the to-and-fro as your child reaches independence but also craves the safety and security of being looked after. The pre-teen years may try your patience as you struggle to understand what your child needs from you. It's worth keeping in mind that she probably can't answer this question either and is trying as hard as you are to come to terms with the changes in how you get on with each other. This information should be used as a guide only. Children develop at different stages, but if you're concerned, contact your doctor or health professional.
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