The pros and cons of working Why work? Many parents work simply because they have to, to pay the bills, but the cost of childcare can take a significant share of your income. We weigh up the pros and cons of working and staying at home.

Working out what you can afford

Calculate your take-home pay after tax and childcare costs

Paying for childcare swallows up a big chunk of your income - sometimes more than half of what you earn after tax. So before you decide whether or not to work, calculate your take-home pay after tax and childcare costs. You may decide it's more cost effective to stay at home.

Of course, work isn't just about the money - there are plenty of other factors to consider when deciding what's right for you and your family.

How to decide

• Talk to other parents, both those who stay at home and those who work
• Think about how much you enjoy your work - if the days passed slowly before you had a child at home, they'll drag all the more now
• Talk to your partner about his or her views
• Keep your work options open as long as possible - never cut off a possibility until you absolutely have to
• Be aware of your child's needs as well as your own - if your child has a chronic medical condition, for example, and has a lot of hospital appointments then you may feel more comfortable staying at home
• Remember, whether you stay at home or go to work, your decision isn't final, you can always change your mind later

Try not to be influenced by stereotypes of parenthood. Being a working parent doesn't mean you'll neglect your child's needs, and staying at home doesn't mean a life of frustration.

There are plenty of working parents with bags of energy who spend a lot of time with their children; equally, there are exhausted at-home parents who can't seem to find a spare moment for anything.

Whichever option you take, make sure you're well organised so you can make the most of your time with your family. See Making the most of family time.

Dealing with a crisis

If you do work, then there'll be times when you face a crisis at work and your partner will have to step in and handle the family duties that day. Equally, a family crisis such as your child becoming ill, or perhaps your nanny or childminder being unable to care for your child, means that one of you will have to handle the situation.

It's important that you have the slack somewhere in your lives to handle this. What's unbearably stressful is when two working parents are both over-committed leaving no one to bail them out in a crisis.

You need to agree beforehand in the case of an emergency one of you will take time off to look after your child.

The advantages of working

You may:

• Contribute to a higher family income
• Keep your career going
• Enjoy the intellectual challenges and social interaction of working life
• Feel valued in a work environment
• Give your child the opportunity for an enriched social life in childcare

The disadvantages of working

You may:

• Not get to spend as much time with your child
• Be more tired
• Feel guilty
• Find the weekends become a frenzy of shopping, washing and other chores
• Feel you lurch from crisis to crisis over childcare arrangements and emergencies

What other parents feel

Alice, 38, stays at home with her daughter Chloe, two:

"I worked for years before Chloe came along and I was ready for a break. We had a big enough income from my husband's job, and I knew I'd feel more fulfilled and happy spending Chloe's early years with her. I'm loving it."

Phil, 34, stays at home with son Alex, 18 months:

"I'm a teacher and my wife earns a lot more than me in IT, so it seemed logical. Neither of us wanted to leave our son with a nanny, and I enjoy being with him. But as an at-home dad there are fewer social opportunities than for mums."

Suzy, 28, has gone back to her job as an accountant since having Ben, eight months:

"At first it was really hard and I wished I could be at home, but now things have fallen into place, although I don't think it will ever be easy. I've negotiated working two shorter days to have more time with Ben and that helps. I also have a great child minder, which makes all the difference."

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