Aged seven: The Will to Win Why do some of us give up easily when faced with a problem, while others persevere? We test our seven-year-olds to determine who has the will to win.

In this article

Programme clips

How does your child react?

In the first programme of the new series, five of our familes - each from different backgrounds - undertake practical tasks that explore the children's and parents' motivation, self-belief and desire to succeed.

We look at what makes us resilient and try to understand the factors that give us inner determination or make us anxious and afraid to try. The opportunities a child has early in life can make a difference, but the results are often suprising.

The tower of Hanoi (1.50 minutes)
The children and their parents tackle a puzzle that requires them to plan ahead and concentrate. See who succeeds, despite an unusual distraction.

The self-belief test (1.27 minutes)
The children are faced with three puzzles, which they're told are easy, medium and hard, to see how they rate their abilities.

The rigged game (1.39 minutes)
The children play their parents in a rigged card game. How well do they cope with losing?

How does your child react to problems? Whether they persevere or give up is determined by their temperament, what they've copied from others and their own trial-and-error experiences. But there are things you can do to encourage and motivate them to persist.

Temperament

A child's temperament becomes clear soon after birth and is, in part at least, inherited. As parents, it can be interesting - and unsettling - to see your own temperament reflected in your child.

Temperament can determine whether your child persists in trying to solve a problem or quickly becomes disheartened or distracted. It can also determine whether they get frustrated or stay calm in the face of difficult problems.

Copying others

Another influence on your child's approach to problems is what they learn from the world around them. Children are heavily influenced by what they see.

Your child is likely to learn how to tackle problems from you

The most important people in a child's world are often the parents. So it follows that your child is likely to learn how to tackle problems from you. Do you plan or jump straight into a task? Do you keep trying or give up easily? Do you use a range of approaches or stick to one? Whatever the answer, your child will probably pick up your problem-solving skills.

Your emotional reactions also make a big impression. If you respond calmly and reasonably, this is likely to be copied. If you get frustated, annoyed or even aggressive, this may be adopted and can spill over into your child's responses at school or with friends.

It's possible to get across to your child the value of trying hard compared with getting the perfect solution. Saying 'it was worth giving that a try' tells them having a go is worthwhile. This encourages them to take on challenges where success isn't guaranteed.

Different skills

It's satisfying to finish a task, complete a puzzle or find the answer to a question. If successful, your child's problem-solving style will be repeated. But there isn't just one approach to all life's puzzles. Some problems require creative thinking and brainstorming, while others need planning, organisation and technical skills.

We continue to develop this skill throughout our lives

Young children are at a very early stage of developing the complex skills of matching problem-solving style to each issue they face. You can help by encouraging your child to use different styles and asking them to talk through the different ways in which they could solve a particular puzzle. But remember, we continue to develop this skill throughout our lives.

Outside influences

You as a parent may have a strong effect on how your child tackles problems, but there are other important influences, too. School, sports, hobbies and TV can all have an impact on children's problem-solving abilities.

Some computer games, for example, give children the impression that winning is a solitary pursuit and can only be achieved if others lose. To balance this, it's important to practise and enjoy problem-solving as part of a team.

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