Coping after the birth Heather Welford Being a new parent means facing new challenges and sometimes you'll sail through, while at other times the responsibility may seem daunting.

One of the most important things you can do as a new parent is accept the support and help family and friends have to offer. And remember, you won't get parenting right all the time, so go easy on yourself as you learn.

Cooking meals, making a sandwich, taking a load of washing out of the machine, popping to the shops, putting petrol in the car, making a phone call... ordinary things take twice as long when you have a new baby, so make the most of any help you can get.

In the first few weeks, gather a support system around you. It can include:

• Your partner - while it's only women who can breastfeed, partners can share everything else. Spend time together as a new family, learning how to do things your way. New mums whose partners are not around, for whatever reason, should try to have someone they trust on hand in the first few days.
• Family and friends - there will be times when your home seems overrun with visitors. Don't feel you have to play host. Sometimes people fail to strike the right balance between showing interest and outstaying their welcome, and you may need to prompt them to go if you're getting tired.
• Healthcare professionals - a midwife will visit you at home over the first ten days or so, before handing over to a health visitor, who'll usually make at least one home visit. After that, you'll see her at the baby clinic, although you can speak to her on the phone between visits.

Your sleep needs

After the birth you'll probably find it's some time before you get a good night's sleep. Your baby may wake throughout the night and need feeding or comforting, and your body clock may be all over the place.

Not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling bad-tempered and unable to cope with simple things that wouldn't normally upset you.

Try some, or all, of the following to help you get a better night's sleep:

• Share night feeds - this isn't easy if you're breastfeeding, but it's not impossible - you could express breastmilk so your partner could share the responsibility. If this isn't an option, ask your partner to get up if your baby wakes but doesn't need feeding.
• Relax - try to switch off and relax before you go to bed. A warm bath is a good start. A warm drink may also help. You could also try a relaxation technique - your local library or parent and baby group should have details of books, videos or courses.
• Sleep when your baby sleeps - this is sometimes easier said than done, with visitors popping in and the housework piling up, but, if you can, forget about tasks around the house and ask a family member or trusted friend to take care of your baby while you sleep.

Feeling lonely

Having a baby means a big change in your social life. You may be enjoying the developing bond with your baby, but miss the company of friends and colleagues. It can be a great help to make new friends who are in a similar situation.

Ask your midwife and health visitor about networks, clubs and groups of parents, such as the National Childbirth Trust (which has hundreds of branches that meet up regularly for support), baby/toddler groups, breastfeeding support groups and Sure Start groups.

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