New baby Paula Hall A new baby in a stepfamily can put some noses out of joint, so you'll need to get your other children on side to ensure the newcomer is loved and welcomed by all.

In this article

Announcing the pregnancy

Children's reactions

New baby, new opportunities

Having a child together signifies a special bond between a new couple. And from this point on, not only will there be 'your' children and 'my' children, but also 'ours'.

If you've both had children before then you'll both be aware of the trials and joys of caring for a newborn. If this is a first child for one of you, then your focus may be different.

It's important to remember that your baby will have a significant impact on other children within the family and both of you will need to share responsibility for making the introduction as smooth as possible.

Your children should be the first to be told that you are expecting. Many couples wrongly assume that children will share their enthusiasm and be delighted by the news, but often this is not the case. And even if they seem happy about the idea, they need to know they can talk to you whenever they have questions or doubts.

How children react will depend on their age, whether or not they've experienced a new baby in the house before and what their relationship is like with each of you. If the relationship's basically solid then they'll probably adjust to the baby very well. Nevertheless, you will still need to give extra reassurance that your relationship with them will be just as important and special as it is now - even though you may have less time to spend with them for a while.

If your relationship has been fragile, then a new baby can seem like an additional threat. It's very common for children to fear that when the new baby comes they'll be left out or that they'll become second best. Some children also feel that they're being replaced.

It's essential that you're open and ready to discuss children's feelings and reassure them that you love them. Explain that you're looking forward to the new baby but this in no way changes how you feel for them.

Even if things feel difficult at first, a new baby soon becomes the common bond in a stepfamily. Children and step-parents are now related via the new baby and step-siblings now share a half-brother or sister.

Step-grandparents now have even more reason to get involved and the new family unit has been cemented and given a tangible future.

Disclaimer: The BBC Parenting site is provided for your general information only. The information contained on this site should not be treated as a substitute for medical, legal or other professional advice. The BBC is not responsible or liable for the contents of any websites of third parties which are listed on this site.