Gay and lesbian step-parenting Paula Hall Any stepfamily is challenging, but if you're in a gay or lesbian relationship you may face additional issues.

In this article

Living together What others think

What the children think Pioneers together

Advice and support

Of course, there are many similarities with other families and you'll probably find other articles on this site useful, but you'll find some links to specific organisations at the bottom of this page.

If you're in a same-sex relationship with children, you don't have a whole lot of choice about whether or not to come out. Children aren't good at keeping secrets and it's likely that your children's friends, their parents, the school and the wider community will know about your sexuality.

This may not be an issue for you, but if it is, then you and your partner will need to consider how you're going to handle people's reactions.

When a stepfamily gets together, the extended family all have their own opinions about the situation. If you're a newly attached same-sex couple then you may be challenging some people's perception of what a family is and the two of you will need to support each other as you struggle with other people's prejudices.

If you've come from a heterosexual relationship then this may be the first time your children have been aware of your sexual orientation. Depending on the age of the children, the two of you will need to think about how you'll talk to them about your sexuality and how you can help them to manage the questions and challenges they may face.

Being a gay or lesbian parent or step-parent is pioneering territory. The 2004 Civil Partnership Act is a significant step, but you'll need to support each other and your children.

• Pink Parents - offering support and guidance in relation to all lesbian and gay parenting issues www.pinkparents.org.uk
• PACE – London's largest lesbian and gay counselling and mental health project. www.pacehealth.org.uk

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