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by Ouch Team

Brighten up that boring computer desktop or mobile phone screen by downloading some fantastic images, courtesy of your favourite disability website! We've got a series of exclusive pics from Ouch's very own cult doodler, Andre Jordan, whilst our very own Disability Bitch is featured in a selection of characteristic scenes designed by artist Curtis Holder. They're available in a variety of screen sizes, and are quick and easy to install. You can find full instructions for Windows and Macintosh computers, plus mobile phones, at the bottom of the page.
The Blind Bird: a wallpaper by Andre Jordan

The Blind Bird

Four nervous young birds perched high up on a line, and the one on the end is blind. It's the white cane and dark glasses that gives it away. The caption reads: "It was time to fly ... Oh God!"

Dis ... abled: a wallpaper by Andre Jordan

Dis ... abled

The word DIS appears to have fallen off ABLED. Well, falling over is quite a common occurrence for some of us. But it's okay, because there's a figure heaving the broken term back together. Phew.

Kiss Chase: a wallpaper by Andre Jordan

Kiss Chase

It's love! The wallpaper shows two small figures sharing one of those heartwarming kissing moments, accompanied by the caption "I am asthmatic and you are visually impaired. Let's play kiss chase!"

The Moody Wheelchair: a wallpaper by Andre Jordan

The Moody Wheelchair

Isn't it annoying when your usually reliable mobility aid suddenly decides to have a bit of a hissy fit? This wallpaper shows 'The Moody Wheelchair' chucking its user out of the seat.

The One-Legged Footballer: a wallpaper by Andre Jordan

The One-Legged Footballer

As one of them disablified types, do you loathe all things sporty? The one-legged star of this wallpaper obviously does, as he pleads "Please don't make me kick the football!"

The Ascent of Disability Bitch: wallpaper

The Ascent of Disability Bitch

In the style of a cave painting, it's the evolution of DB, from monkey through the prehistoric and Stone Age, to the supreme being we all know and love today.

Disability Bitch on the moon: wallpaper

Disability Bitch on the moon

She's made her mark on planet Earth, and now it's time to spread the DB message to the moon, complete with a lipstick-shaped rocket and a disability flag for our interplanetary Bitch to plant on the surface.

Disability Bitch's parking patrol: wallpaper

Disability Bitch's parking patrol

Illegal use of disabled parking bays is a big problem, as we all know too well. So here is DB's radical solution, involving her own bright pink 'Parking Patrol' tank, complete with blue badge. She'll show no mercy!

Disability Bitch's wheelchair race: wallpaper

Disability Bitch's wheelchair race

Hang on, what's this? Disability Bitch competing in a wheelchair race? But she hates sport! Well, she's decided to compete, but in her own inimitable style - watching the other athletes zoom by, while she eats cake.

Disability Bitch mobile wallpapers

Close-up of Disability Bitch laughing: mobile wallpaper
DB does not like to be ignored, so keep her with you at all times by downloading and installing one of five mobile phone wallpapers featuring Ouch's most fearsome columnist. The result is instant disability cool. Click the links to reveal each image in all its glory.

Windows users: downloading instructions

  • Click on the right size for your desktop.
  • A window displaying the full sized image will appear.
  • Right click the full sized image and select 'Set as wallpaper'.

Mac users: downloading instructions

  • Click on the right size for your desktop.
  • A window displaying the full sized image will appear.
  • Click and drag the picture out of your browser and onto your desktop.
  • Open the 'Appearance' Control Panel.
  • Click on the 'Desktop' tab and then the 'Place Picture' button.
  • You can now browse and select the picture file you downloaded.
  • Finally, click the 'Set Desktop' button and then close the control panel.

Mobiles: downloading instructions

  • Click on the links to preview the wallpaper in your web browser.
  • Choose the correct size for your mobile, then right click and save the image onto your computer.
  • Use the software and instructions that came with your mobile phone to transfer the file to the relevant folder on your phone.

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