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Ouch Christmas single: Cripples at Christmas

by Ouch Team

30th November 2007

It's CHRRRISSSTMASSSS! And here comes Ouch's very first Christmas single, performed by Podcast host, the one and only Mat Fraser!
It's in the great tradition of all those festive singalongs that have leapt to the top of the pop charts over the years - Slade's Merry Xmas Everybody, Roy Wood and Wizzard's I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday and Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and Wine (well, okay, maybe not Cliff's effort). Ouch's single, however, features some very 'special' lyrics written for all you equally 'special' people gathered round your fire, roasting your chestnuts and toasting your seasonal ten quid disability benefit bonus with a medicinal glass of eggnog.

Download the single

It's simple to get Cripples at Christmas! No rushing down to your local record shop to hand over your cash for a CD - simply right-click on the 'Download' link below and choose "Save Target As ...", "Save Link As ...", or similar depending on what type of computer you use. From here you can choose where to save it on your hard disk.

Once on your computer, you can transfer the file to your iPod or portable MP3 player if you wish.

Please note: depending on your computer's settings, left clicking on the 'Download' link may cause the song to play after a short wait, rather than saving it. Once downloaded, keep it in your personal collection.

Download Cripples at Christmas mp3 (5.96 MB)


Christmas singles have to be sung along to. Fact. And Mat's Cripples at Christmas is no exception. Check out the lyrics below, and then print out the words so you can belt 'em out in the comfort of your own living-room. Or why not take a few more copies, give them to your friends, and go out carol singing?
Cripples at Christmas
(Written and performed by Mat Fraser)

Christmas is coming,
Decorating the tree.
I am disabled,
Would you put on the fairy for me?

But if you kissed me at Christmas
Under the mistletoe,
I’d put tinsel round your guide dog’s neck
And it might even snow, uh oh ho.

If you’re a cripple at Christmas, let’s celebrate this time.
We might not last, so raise a glass of medicine and wine.
Whether spaz, blind, deaf or dumb, the dribbles from your rum
Won’t burn a hole in your heart this Christmas time.

Now I have a friend who
Has no arms or legs,
And down in the pub on Christmas Eve
He drinks his glass to the dregs with a straw, yeah.

There once was a woman
Used an electric wheelchair,
She plugged in the fairy lights
And sparkles lit up her hair - it was cool.

If you’re a cripple at Christmas, let’s celebrate this time.
We might not last, so raise a glass of medicine and wine.
When you’re terminally ill, spend now - don’t pay the bill,
And do just what you want this Christmas time.

But think of the normal ones
For they live amongst us, yeah.
Let's give them our charity at this time
Mustn't stare, show we care ...

If you live in a care home,
Try slipping booze in the punch,
Or maybe some medication added to
The Christmas lunch, for a laugh now.

And remember our loved ones
Who are not with us today,
I’d like to propose a toast
To all of us who passed away - see you later.

If you’re a cripple at Christmas, let’s celebrate this time
We might not last, so raise a glass of medicine and wine.
And don’t be left alone, pulling your wishbone,
Make sure you’re with someone at Christmas time.
All the wobblers and the shakers feeling fine,
Yes, mutants, crips and gimps, it's Christmas time.

Print these lyrics

Cover art

For the full MP3 single experience, you can download a square version of the cover art, just right for copying into your preferred audio player. In that way, every time you listen to Cripples at Christmas, Mat Fraser's beaming face, topped off with a Santa hat, will shine at you from your computer monitor or the screen of your MP3 player.

Click here for the cover art

Please note: this feature may not be available on all MP3 players or software.


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