Disability Bitch vs blue badge reforms

23rd October 2008

Fans of Disability Bitch, welcome to my shiny new-look column. I know it's pretty but don't let that distract you. There's serious hating to be done. Join with me, fellow cripples, let's all chorus as one: I HATE DISABLED PARKING REFORMS!

It goes without saying, indeed I have said before, that I hate almost everything there is to hate about Blue Badges - the scheme which enables disabled people to park in cheeky places where your normal common-or-garden driver would get towed away.

It sounds like another stunning advantage to being disabled - this and free money from the government - when actually blue badges are so annoying and pointless, I've sold mine on the internet for several thousand pounds. We've all got to supplement our benefits somehow. Don't panic, though. The man buying it did say he was definitely disabled himself.

The thing is, I've been browsing through the government's recently published Blue Badge reform strategy, and it seems they'll soon be handing out badges to just about anyone who asks. They've got loads of guff in there about fraud prevention. There's also talk of having to have a medical assessment before qualifying for a badge. And that's fine too because, y'know, as a disabled person I've only been to six different hospital appointments this week, I don't feel I'm medically assessed often enough.

Read the small print, though, and you discover this supposed tightening up is a farce. For instance, blind people are still going to get Blue Badges 'because of the difficulties they can face crossing the road safely'.

Um. Right. First up can someone let the government know that - as a general rule - you do still have to cross the road when you have a Blue Badge. It's not like angels magically appear and stop the traffic when you flash your parking permit. Sometimes I want to go to a shop that's on the opposite site of the road from a handicap space and I actually have to walk across the road! With moving cars and everything! Shocking. Am I doing something wrong? Should I be writing to my MP? Look, it's just I've NEVER seen a blind person using a car without the benefit of a fully sighted accomplice, and I'd at least hope that they could help with the whole crossing-the-road lark. Maybe mention if there are cars coming to their blindie mate, that kind of thing? Depends how much they like them, I suppose.

But that's the least of my worries. I read that soon 'people with temporary mobility problems' lasting at least a year, will be granted badges. Well that's just ridiculous. These people only have to be a bit disabled for 12 months. Have they never heard of Tesco.com? Can they not get taxis? Do they have no friends? Really. This policy has not been thought through. In a world where more than half of all blue badges in London are used fraudulently and a shiny blue spaz parking permit will sell for thousands of pounds on the black market, do you not think people will resort to self injury to qualify? Course they will! The government is encouraging self harm, I tell you. The NHS will be overwhelmed by people with DIY broken legs. They will hobble into casualty clutching their blue badge application forms and there will be no parking spaces left for the rest of us. You mark my words. It's an outrage!

MillsWatch

Strange but true: a waxwork model of Paul McCartney's head was accidentally left on a train in Maidenhead, it was reported this week. It was eventually found but I was trying to start an internet rumour that it was on a stake in Heather Mill's back garden. I'm nice like that.

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1. At 4:57pm on 23 Oct 2008, Philip wrote:
Does anyone else find the words 'cripples' and 'spaz' offensive, even in a comedy context?

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2. At 8:54pm on 23 Oct 2008, James_Medhurst wrote:
Too right. Being disabled is a political thing and not a medical thing. Getting a blue badge should not be based on whether or not you can get around but on identity. Anyone who is not a member of DAN should be forced to crawl around car parks on their hands and knees (of course, people who are members of DAN will probably be crawling around voluntarily anyway just to make a point).

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3. At 9:26pm on 23 Oct 2008, OldIronBaz wrote:
Pay a visit to Clacton-On-Sea this is a town that has more blue badges than people yet they can carry fifty ton of shopping and then go back for more, sprint at a pace a Royal Marine would be proud of, and then run to the car, but dare you question their right and your get a reply to make dockyard lady of the night blush.

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4. At 09:36am on 24 Oct 2008, batsgirl wrote:
OldIronBaz - when I go shopping I frequently send my able-bodied assistant running, yes, running, back to the car to stash my fifty tons of shopping while I continue to browse around the town centre. This is because there is a limit to how many bags can be hung off my wheelchair before it interferes with the wheels.

I use the in-store mobility scooters at the supermarket, too, and my able-bodied assistant often carries the shopping to the car while I am queueing at Customer Services to return the key.

There is often more to a circumstance than meets the eye. Challenging people in car parks just because they don't have "DISABLED" tattooed across their forehead is quite possibly not the best way forwards.

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5. At 1:43pm on 24 Oct 2008, Wheelyrob wrote:
On two occassions i have challenged persons parking their cars in disabled bays and not displaying a badge (i wouldn't question someone who doesn't 'look' disabled as i dont either). One response was "its okay i wont be long" and the other was "its raining and this space is closer to the ATM".

When both persons were asked to move so that i could use the space both became aggressive and abusive, yet nothing seems to be done to people who dont have badges and use the spaces all the time.

My latest way of making people aware that they are doing wrong is to say "Excuse me, noticed you dont have your badge displayed - you want to be careful cos they give you a ticket if you dont put your badge out"

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6. At 2:38pm on 25 Oct 2008, aurora9 wrote:
People will always try to park their cars wherever they can. The fact that they fake their disability and that the government will support them in doing so in a way, is simply stupid. Perhaps an MP should try to park a car while faking to be in a wheelchair in order to see the real problem. Croatia is no stranger to this kind of situation. I live in Zagreb and I could tell you for days about many close encounters with people who park where they cannot. And they know it is morally wrong but they still do it!

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7. At 2:41pm on 25 Oct 2008, aurora9 wrote:
I do not find the terms offensive "cripples" and "spaz".

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8. At 11:20pm on 26 Oct 2008, glammyleg wrote:
It is quite bizzare how the words 'cripples' and 'spaz' in this age of disability enlightenment can get through the 'profanity' filter though someone calling themselves or being called the 'N' word, even in jest or to illustrate hypocrisy, would not be permissible. I suppose it is only ok to get away with insulting a 'G!ng*r' who is a 'Cri**le'.

I've noticed the word 'l@me' is used in a derogatory context more frequently these days and seems to go unchallenged, eg. 'that is a l@me excuse' or 'you're so l@me', often to insult regardless of whether they have a disability or not.

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9. At 07:32am on 30 Oct 2008, BenovolentJane. wrote:
Right, well, I have to say that maybe they should atleast make it 1 and a half years minimum for those who have an injury because I do see the point in it. They are temporarily or maybe even permamently unable to walk long distances, carry things, etc etc. And please, don't mention taxis because there are people who won't be able to WORK because of their injuries, do you think they'll get money to have a taxi? No! take My mother for instance, she broke her foot, but as a single mother with the responsibility of not only 3 children but also the responsibility of a disabled child and no job because of her injury, I think she really did have the right to the disabled spot. She was the only one who could escort me to the 10s of appointments I had every week, and it was not a good thing for her with the injury she had, so i'm jolly glad that she DID have the blue card. I don't know how she would have survied without it, or me for that matter.

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10. At 2:11pm on 30 Oct 2008, undue_haste wrote:
I find the best way to stop friends and relatives asking to borrow my blue badge is to drive a really embarrassing car.

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