Ouch's fearsome Bitch eats famous disabled people for breakfast. And then spits them out again. She tackles other controversial disability topics with all the subtlety of a hammer cracking a nut. Don't say we didn't warn you!
Disability Bitch vs clever internet stuff
11th March 2009
• EBay-style feedback for services
Brown reckons this will lead to 'higher standards of transparency'. Cos reading people's comments on the web is always very useful, LoL, :-) ... It's all part of an 'information revolution', people. I bet you're thrilled.
There is a whole slew of these public websites planned, and from this summer, you'll be able to leave comments about your GP and local NHS services. Um. I see the good intension behind this, but can you imagine what's going to happen if people use these online tools to describe medical practitioners in the same way they use them to describe internet shopping transactions? Readers, anarchy will happen, that's what!
Let me just furnish you with a recent example of genuine feedback from my own eBay profile. One happy seller has said of me: A+ buyer, prompt payment, great transaction. How nice of them! See, I may be a Bitch, but I pay my dues on time.
Don't forget that the seller, in this case your doctor, gets to leave feedback in response. I imagine mine would go something like: Five minutes late again. Used deodorant. Hypochondriac. Still spastic. Drool not so bad today. Hell, who needs medical records when you've got this information to hand!
And then there are the times when transactions go badly. In those cases, most online auction sites include a 'Report seller to website' option for when you've been ripped off. I'll be looking forward to being able to threaten my GP with the handy 'Report doctor to the GMC' button, then.
Translate this to medical services and who knows what we'll find out: "After visiting this doctor, 70 per cent of patients took aspirin, 15 per cent were prescribed Prozac, 5 per cent were referred for physiotherapy, 3 per cent of them dropped dead". It's not the kind of information I need to know, to be honest.
But, come on now, would you ever leave a bad comment about your GP or surgeon anyway? Criticise a waitress and she might gob in your food; God knows what might happen if you get on the wrong side of the person who looks after your health! I'd be far too scared. How useful it'll be remains to be seen.
I'm slightly concerned that Gordon Brown might get over-excited and expand the idea to social networking. Instead of adding friends to your personal profile, you will be able to add your GP, your orthopaedic consultant and your gynaecologist. Instead of being invited to events or to join groups, you'll be accepting referrals to chiropody, hydrotherapy and the NHS stop smoking service. It won't be long before you're able to play Scrabble with the lot of them. I'll be honest with you, readers, the main thing I'm left wondering is whether it's ethical to want to poke your consultant.
Live community panel
Listen to our regular razor sharp talk show online, or subscribe to it as a podcast. Spread the word: it's where disability and reality almost collide.