Disability Bitch loves life

Simone and Kevin from Dancing on Wheels

Yesterday, he told me I would have to wait until he'd finished reading about the new crippled actress in Coronation Street before he'd get me dinner.

That was enough. "I'm hurting here," I told him. "Have some compassion."

"OK," he said. "Would you like me to smother you to death with a pillow?"

Goodness. It took a moment's thought. "No," I said, "but it would be great if you could pass me some ibuprofen."

He looked surprised but, eventually, shuffled off to the kitchen to get my supplies, checking I only wanted two anti-inflammatory capsules and not, you know, two hundred.

It seems a good moment to reiterate that I LOVE LIFE. I don't normally bother saying such things, but then, people have been stating the obvious a lot lately. Only a few days ago, I heard someone from a pro life campaign group telling ITV news, "Killing people is illegal." It seems the world needs reminding of these simple things.

So, for the sake of clarity: I'm Disability Bitch, and I do hate the world and everything in it, but I don't want to die anytime soon. It's no surprise my No-Legged mate thinks I might want to glide off this mortal coil sooner rather than later. The thing is, I don't. I quite like being here.

If you examine the current British news agenda, you'd think this is a rare emotion for someone disabled and living in pain. See, every single major news story relating to disabled people in the last month or so has been on the subject of voluntary euthanasia, culminating in this week's headline that, several years ago, veteran BBC journalist Ray Gosling admitted publicly to killing a lover who was dying of AIDS. We know because he announced as much on a BBC regional documentary filmed several months ago which was only broadcast this week.

Call me old fashioned, but I'd always assumed that if I mentioned to my employer that I once deliberately suffocated someone, they might, y'know, call the police and report the event. Instead, the so called mercy killings of terminally ill or disabled people have become humdrum with him talking openly about it in radio and TV slots the next day. At time of writing, Mr Gosling has been arrested on suspicion of murder.

Gosling's admission follows a string of related stories: author Sir Terry Pratchett used this year's Dimbleby lecture to outline his case for a 'euthanasia tribunal'; Martin Amis, who had a new book to promote, suggested euthanasia booths on street corners; Kay Gilderdale was found not guilty of attempting to murder her daughter, Lynn, who had ME; Frances Inglis was jailed for the murder of her brain-injured son.

Sir Terry Pratchett: called for tribunals to assist dying

I'll be frank: I don't think it's my business to interfere in anyone else's death. Feel free to have it your way. That's not my beef. I would, however, like it if some disabled people made the news, some of the time, for anything other than being dead or wanting to be dead. Or appearing on dancing based reality television shows. I would quite like it if admissions that someone had once accelerated the death of a disabled person weren't, automatically, seen as 'compassionate', and I would be pleased if the nation was more worried about a disabled person's right to a decent quality of life than their right to death. That is all.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to neck some more painkillers and remove all sharp objects from the house before my No-Legged friend gets anymore ideas about being compassionate.

Now to the bit you all want to read. This week Heather Mills allowed herself to be analysed on national TV by clinical psychologist Pamela Connolly. Among other things, she revealed she's already spent most of the £24 million divorce settlement she obtained from Paul McCartney. She also discussed how she coped with the loss of her leg in 1993. Wow.

This week, several of my 2041 friends posted Valentine's messages to my wall. I deleted them all. If you'd like to be my friend, but not my Valentine, join me here.