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Disability Bitch likes a good leak

2nd December 2010

• Disability Bitch is published every Thursday

Oh hello, readers. Yes, it's cold. Yes, there's snow. Snow, like there is every single year. While all major news channels are banging on about the weather, there's other things going on. Notably, more than 250,000 US Embassy cables have been leaked to the world.
wikileaks website
No, I don't really understand what cables are, either - surely everyone uses emails these days? However, what we've now got are details of private correspondence between US state departments and their far-flung embassies, revealing their opinions on world leaders, politicians and previously private negotiations.

Revelations range from 'inappropriate' words from a member of the British Royal Family to comments made about one world leader by another which could lead to international unrest.

All this gossip has got me wondering what would happen if there was a similar leak of the opinions of UK politicians and diplomats around the subject of disability. After all, I HATE DIPLOMACY and I'm all in favour of people saying what they think.

If shocking revelations were to emerge, what would be the most shocking?

For instance, I've long assumed there's a cunning plot - supported by all recent governments and every single politician in Westminster - to move all disabled people to an island in the middle of the ocean where they will no longer trouble the able-bodied populous and their taxpounds (which, as we know, aren't as good as the taxpounds from able bodied people).

In fact, I'm imagining that one such missive - perhaps from the DWP to Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs - might read: "Someone on the BBC is claiming disabled people sometimes pay tax. Surely this cannot be true! Please advise."

Meanwhile, there's the tantalising question of what other politicians REALLY thought of David Blunkett while he was in office. I'd lay money on one of the non-existent cables reading: "I know it looks good to have a disablified bloke in the cabinet, but all these scandals are embarrassing. Can we look into getting Stephen Hawking, instead? Everyone likes him."
Gary McKinnon
But the Wikileaks have produced one or two positive surprises, including the news that former Prime Minister Gordon Brown appealed to the US on behalf of Gary McKinnon, a British systems analyst accused of hacking into US military computers. He has been diagnosed as autistic and having depression, which, supporters say, means he should not be extradited as per the US request.

Come with me down my fantasy road a bit further. Perhaps I'm being too cynical. Maybe in amongst these UK government data leaks we'd find one that reads: "Hey, Prime Minister, disabled people are quite nice, aren't they? As soon as this damn recession's over, let's increase the basic rate of all disability benefits, and make the application process easier for them."

Readers, I can dream, I can dream. I'm off out to play in the snow. Not really. I'm locking my doors, insulating my home with printouts of the wikileaks cables, and not coming out until July.

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