Ouch's fearsome Bitch eats famous disabled people for breakfast. And then spits them out again. She tackles other controversial disability topics with all the subtlety of a hammer cracking a nut. Don't say we didn't warn you!
Disability Bitch hates 'well people'
17th March 2010
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Readers, I'm angry. You will read this column and be angry too. See, I've discovered there's a large group of people who are shamelessly wasting NHS resources; resources paid for by, y'know, the British taxpayers. Taxpayers like you and me.
See, a new campaign suggests that over one fifth of GP appointments are entirely pointless, made by people who could treat themselves very easily at home, and don't actually need the services of a highly trained medical professional. Readers, these consultations cost an estimated £2 billion a year.
Fellow cripples, all this time everyone thought it was us wasting money. We've been slurred. Ever since I found out, I sneer when I see these 'well' people. I watch them, sneezing into tissues and looking a bit sorry for themselves, and I say to myself, "I know what you're up to, wasters."
It's all true, too. I've been making appointments with my GP and turning up early just so I can confirm that I am, in fact, the neediest person there. You'll not believe this but there are people who visit my GP even when they can walk properly and don't have brain injuries. I have empirical evidence.
I intend on writing to my MP and getting him to do something about this; I demand change. We all know the NHS was set up to spend money on sickly people - it's our pot of money to waste as we wish. I demand that non-sick people stop using it. Immediately.
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